'The FOG'

‘Derive happiness in oneself from a good day's work, from illuminating the fog that surrounds us.’ ~ Henri Matisse

The weather has been unusually sporadic these days. Not necessarily unusual as the Chicago area is known for it’s wide range in weather patterns all in one day . . . but it has been almost eerie as the city has had many days of dense fog. Driving home the other night, a few things went through my head. Although I struggled to SEE, I felt an odd sense of peace – kind of like when your mind falls asleep yet you are in auto pilot and eventually get to where you are going despite the fact that your mind has completely turned off to the technicals of the actual drive. For the first time in a long time, even though I had this blanket of fog wrapped around me – even though I could not SEE but a few feet in front of me, I had this PEACE as I drove home to my little farm house. Although the roads were much harder to maneuver as the landscape opened to the many farm fields, I happened upon recognizable landmarks every now and then and this continued to reassure me that I was moving along in the right manner. Again, this did not seem to alarm me but rather reassure me that for the first time in a very long time – perhaps EVER, I truly believe I FELT my ‘bearings’.

No big surprise, but I looked up bearings in the dictionary – the definition I was seeming to understand about this word reads as such: an awareness of one's position or situation relative to one's surroundings.

I shared something with a friend of mine – about the way I had been feeling for so long with everything moving so quickly in my life. Many things had been clouding my vision – the struggle between the head and the heart – the spiritual and the flesh.

All of a sudden, the FOG was like a straight jacket that bound me for a time of realization. Perhaps it was BECAUSE of this physical fog that my spiritual senses were heightened ultimately lifting me out of this emotional fog that I have been in for quite some time. It’s interesting how tight our world becomes when the atmosphere lowers itself to our level. Under normal conditions a bounty of freedom awaits one who is able to rise to such heights – a place I choose to live. However, when the reverse takes place – the heavenlies, brought into our realm – where many choose to reside, become an indefinable CONTRAINT that is placed around us causing us to focus on the things that are directly in front of us – almost like the blinders we see on horses that are made to traipse people around in those city horse-drawn carriages – without them, many a horse, feeling overwhelmed and panic, would run ramped through the streets wreaking havoc for themselves and the lives of the many they come in contact with.

‘An awareness of one's position or situation relative to one's surroundings.’ I feel that I am finally reaching a point in my life where I am understanding my position – my purpose, if you will. In finding this understanding, I am beginning to understand that while my PHYSICAL SURROUNDING may change at a moments notice, this new awareness gives me peace and allows me to relate to ANY surrounding.

May your current fog’s be lifted as you grow in your own understanding . . . make good choices . . .