Thursday, February 5, 2009

. . . slow return . . .

Sometimes, when my life starts to fill itself to the brim, I find myself running into road blocks that make me take great pause . . . and eventually, I find myself getting back on track.

It seems like forever ago when I discovered that my computer caught a bug - devistation ensued as I felt I could not go on. I had allowed myself to become so attached to a piece of hardware - my connection to the outside world and then Poof - gone in a flash.

I say gone because I was in a rebound financially, and I seriously had to choose wisely what to do next. I sat in a funk for days as I could not find a reasonable OUT for my dilemma. Everything I was . . . or rather thought I had become, was on that machine.

Once again, I had invested all of me into something that literally timed out. Where was my back-up? I'm the one who learned many of life's lessons from my boot camp days of disaster mitigation training. Why wouldn't I back everything up? Why wouldn't I expect something like this?

I suddenly found myself in a great pause and rather than rushing in to fix it, I had at least learned a valuable lesson that this 'crash' came at a very hectic and 'distracted' time in my life. The good Lord was trying to redirect me to another place and I just wasn't listening . . . so I fully believe He finally just pulled the plug on me.

It's taken me a while - I have made some major changes in my life - tightening my belt, so to speak, and I am feeling more focused than ever before. I can't say that I would have gotten here had I kept tapping on so often. I am almost at a point where I can more easily get my computer back to a working status (on borrowed one as I sit now) and hopefully I will find that my many writings are still accessable at that time.

And if not, the one thing that TIME will often do is EASE the pain of something that feels a loss. I have created many more writings in the meantime and I feel as if refinement might be coming through. Perhaps all things really do happen for a reason and this was just to make me let go of many of the things I thought I had become again.

It's all still good, take care now . . .

Sunday, May 25, 2008

‘Processed for Strength’

I see life lessons ~ truths, if you will ~ in the oddest things sometimes.

As I educate the public about recycling and being sustainable, I am forever having to educate myself on the many recycling processes. The other day, I was studying the process of how plastics are turned into eco-spun – the material used in making clothing and other materials. I was fascinated – who knew I would get this excited over what many perceive to be garbage.

Very simply, the water bottles (*Polyethylene terephthalate (PET or PETE) (#1) are ground down, put through a wash to purify the granules and then melted into a taffy-like consistency. This ‘taffy’ is (for lack of a better word) feathered out in sheets on several large rollers and almost ‘combed’ into many fibers. If one were to grab the fibers before the end of the process and pull on them, the fibers would actually snap in half quite easily. There is one more critical step before this eco-spun is ready to be woven into materials:

It must get PULLED to it’s limit to GAIN strength.

We often feel tested throughout our lifetime . . . feeling perhaps, that if one more thing comes our way, we’ll literally snap. Unfortunately, there are those who give in to this self-doubt – those whose original foundation was perhaps not strong to begin with, however, most of us come with a small amount of two very important ingredients – that much needed ‘endurance’ and a good measure of ‘desire’ to grow – both of which INCREASE over time as we are tested.

Let’s look at this process again.

The bottles have to be collected
(set apart from the rest of the garbage)
The bottles have to be put through a grinder
(breaking it’s original form so that it can be changed)
The plastic grind has to go through a wash process
(to remove impurities)
The plastic grind has to be heated to a ‘taffy’ consistency
(the heat softens it into a pliable material)
This ‘taffy’ passes over several rollers and almost combed into fibers
(the material is being refined)
This fiber will then be stretched to give it strength
(pulling the molecules into proper alignment)

Being pulled, being tested to the limits is a necessary process in order to gain strength. Many may not understand but I will share that in my 40 years, I have come to understand that there is a PURPOSE for everything under the sun so this is no exception. Science is often used to DIS-PROVE God . . . I chuckle a bit when I hear that - for NOTHING can disprove God, people. A simple computer search on carbon fibers (which is basically what WE are) will reveal that when DNA molecules are properly aligned, they become stronger. Please pay attention to the words ‘properly aligned’. For those of us who understand the practice of chiropractics, therapy comes in the form of manipulating and aligning the spinal column – the axis of the skeleton – the center point that the rest of the body rotates on.

It’s ALL about the alignment. WHEN we are pulled tight, we are often forced to snap back into the original order of our alignment . . . we become stronger in our being when we align to His axis.

‘HE gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless’
ISAIAH 40:29

So, for those of you who feel as though they cannot be pulled a minute longer, please take comfort in knowing that HE already knows your limits . . . what won’t kill you, really will make you stronger.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

‘Addictions . . . ’

Addictions . . . we all have them . . . it’s just that some are not as easily recognizable to the general public or our closest friends.

I have a friend who is struggling through one even as I type. I have been witness to many things in my life time, but until now, I have not had a front row seat to see first hand how difficult the very physical struggle can be to ride one’s self of a mainstream addition.

. . . big sigh . . . I find that in all things along the journey of ‘ME’, God is showing me very real examples of the many struggles I go through in my own life. Until this latest, I did not realize how very real my own addictions are.

A few weeks ago, when it became very real with this friend, I felt that crack in that foundations again ~ you know, when your perceived reality is shaken a bit by something you think could not be possible. Then, when you realize that, ‘Yes – it is quite true’, the world around you starts to melt away and the floor beneath you becomes more unstable. You begin to see all too clearly that the thing others struggles with, is the very thing you struggle with – only under a different mask.

This dear friend recently surrendered to a long-time addiction and has since felt the damages that have come along the way. In the very manner this addiction manifest itself in the physical form (taking hold of the victim and making the body become a slave to it’s presence, this addiction also manifested itself in the form of destroyed relationships, jeopardized employment and stolen securities. Try as they might, this friend could not simply ‘stop’ for the addiction found a way of creeping in. It literally controlled my friend and when this friend tried to stop, the physical being would go through very real manifestations, like ‘the shakes’ and a clouded mental capacity making it nearly impossible to stop.

One night, as I tried reasoning with this friend yet again (one cannot take the substance away, the addict has to push it away for the healing to begin), something became very evident to me. In the very manner I protested – TWO things flashed before my eyes – areas of my life that I have ALLOWED CONTROL over my better judgement.

It’s almost as if a huge spotlight was held over my head . . . and isn’t that the way it says it will be (‘judge NOT lease you be judged’). For the first time, I realized I was holding onto things in the same manner that this friend held onto the alcohol. The difference . . . mine was more a relationship and a mode of operation . . . not mainstream in the least – but still addictions in their own right. What some would perceive as ‘normal’, I have recognized as areas that ultimately hold me back – never to the extreme . . . but enough to recognize the subtle damages over TIME.

In the very manner my friend is having to follow – the 12 steps to recovery - I have vowed to do the same with these areas in my own life – the first one being the admission that I am not going to allow these additions to go on.

So, to the many who want to dig a little deeper to find the root of their existing problems, know this – among what might be a huge pile of negative debris from the years lived before, I can promise you that there will ALSO be a beautiful TREASURE that will be WORTH holding onto. I pray that you gain strength to release the things that are holding you back and also endurance to sustain you when you need to reach out as that brass ring is presented before you.

These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous.[8]

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

‘Bi-Polar . . .’

A recent article caught my eye. The headline: ‘Bipolar disorder in Children: A new look’

The reason it caught my eye . . . I am a product of bi-polar genes. I say that with caution because the proverbial ‘THEY’ have not proven that there is a gene for this and currently there is no blood or brain imaging test to prove anything – only that of diagnosis based on symptoms and family history. See, growing up, my mother struggled with this disorder and her father before her, much the same. As I grew up, because it was in our ‘genes’, my father was always on watch to make sure we four children showed no signs of the illness.

As adolescence came into the picture, I began doing my own research on how hormones play a key role in emotions, etc. and I stayed alert to the many changes within myself. I recognized that if I did not stay IN CONTROL of my SELF, I could eventually cave to it’s control . . . I chose to rise above it and stand guard to it which often left me open to receiving ridicule for being too ‘strict’ with myself. My friends could not understand why I didn’t allow myself to party more. I thickened my skin to this peer pressure and lived the only way I knew to SUSTAIN ME.

Further into my adult-life, while I had worked so hard to stave off particular habits that would weaken me, I began to recognized other areas that I did not stand guard against and began to see signs in me that were clearly symptomatic of this disease.

In the same manner that one has to guard a FORTRESS, we have to stand guard for our SELVES. There were weaknesses that I had developed over the course of my life-time and BECAUSE I ignored those soft-spots, I easily allow ENTRY to the many enemies that wanted to attack. WHEN I was rebounding from giving birth, my resistance was much lower – my hormones were OFF-Balance and I would often surrender to the negative emotions that sleep deprecation brings on.

I was against taking any medication in the beginning – from my stance, that would be ‘admitting’ I was a failure. I thank God for sending me a friend with SOUND advice. She pointed out that in the same manner that a HEART PATIENT had to take medicine to keep their heart pumping after an attack, this patient would have to use the ‘band aide’ of the medicine WHILE they ate right and exercised to STRENGTHEN their heart. She reminded me that eventually, WHEN the heart was strong enough on it’s own – this patient might be able to go off the actual medicine that STABALIZED them.

Because of this, I did take that advice and was grateful for the band aide while I needed it.

During that time, I PURPOSED myself to grow stronger and rebuild – my physical health (lost weight, became more active, cut back on negative foods, made sure I got plenty of rest – but not too much), my emotional health (gave up negative behaviors, etc.) and most importantly I REBUILT my spiritual health (my fortress using GOD as my foundation).

A few short years later, another friend of mine gave me SOUND ADVICE that the ‘BAND AIDE’ was ONLY good for the short time it served it’s purpose and now that I was strong enough, that band aide was, in effect, KEEPING ME from HEALING ALL THE WAY. So with much prayer, and under the supervision of my doctor, I took his advice and WEENED myself OFF of the meds.

Like all things different, I struggled a bit to find BALANCE in my new skin but I can say in all honesty that I am a few years into this new REBUILD and I can tell you that I have been able to WEATHER some rough waters over the course of these last few years and I have remained STRONGER than ever before.

So, now, I sit hear reading many headlines and hear of the staggering rates of diagnosis and it makes me look a little harder to UNCOVER the TRUTHS of these illnesses. See, I have three children of my own and I will FOREVER stand guard to the attacks that come their way. I will forever be aware – of the ever-present THREAT that will always hover over my family lineage – a threat that will ONLY become real if I ALLOW it to take form.

Like all things, I went to the WORD itself to find the beginning of truth.

BI-POLAR:

1 : having or involving the use of two poles
2 of a neuron : having an efferent and an afferent process

Basically we have two sides of an IMPULSE – one pulls towards and one pulls away. An IMPULSE is any SUDDEN, involuntary inclination prompting to ACTION.

IN LIFE, we will always have two choices – to go TO the thing that is POSITIVE and GIVES STRENGTH . . . or to run AWAY from it. Our actions reflect accordingly.

When we ALIGN with the positive – it gives us STRENGTH, endurance – producing a positive action.

When we ALIGN with the negative – it removes our strength, it weakens our endurance – producing a negative action.

When we BOUNCE from positive to negative, we DISPLAY SPORATIC behaviors . . . in essence we are double-minded. All the GOOD is counter-acted by the presence of the bad and we end up having a reputation of DISORDER.

Medicines are often used to LIMIT our abilities to bounce from one extreme to the other.

In the same manner, BOUNDARIES keep us from bouncing from one pole to the next. When I SEE my children acting in extreme behaviors, I REMIND myself that they are just in need of BOUNDARIES . . . of POSITIVE reinforcements. I pray and then act accordingly and in a short time, they settle their behavior and the disorder is gone. This PRACTICE keeps me from obsessing over the perceived family curse.

In today’s world where DIAGNOSIS and CAUSES are more prevalent than actual CURES and FIXES, it is my prayer that we would ALL be mindful of necessary BOUNDARIES to keep us safe from ever increasing DISORDERS.

Keep digging . . .

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

‘A R T . . .’

The Class.
The Teacher.
The Grade.
The FUTURE.

The ART CLASS:
A class in which you learn ART

ART –
(7.) the principles or methods governing any craft or branch of learning: the art of baking; the art of selling . . . The Art of LOVE . . . THE ART OF WAR!

There is an ART to doing all things . . . ART is not about pretty pictures . . . . it’s about LIFE.
What you end up doing with it . . . can be ultimately beautiful . . . breath-taking . . .

FACTS:
In ART, one must learn TECHNIQUES.
In ART, the ART is based on the EYE of the Beholder.

LEARN the techniques . . . but MAKE THEM YOUR OWN.

The TEACHER:
There will be many in one’s lifetime – Some will teach what TO DO . . . others are there to teach what NOT TO DO.

See them for what they are and figure out how to interpret the lesson.

The GRADE:
Grades only count on PAPER.
SCORES only count to people keeping score.

Know this – While ONE does not live by someone else’s grade – the WORLD always keeps score. Figure out a way to REMAIN in the GAME . . . but do not allow someone’s score card to dictate one’s own worth.

The FUTURE:
WHEN does one stop learning? If one spends all their time trying to just GET OUT of class, one will never appreciate the journey of LEARNING.

There is an ART to doing ALL THINGS . . . figure out how to stay IN CLASS.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

‘TV Reality Shows . . . Nothing New under the Sun’

Ecclesiastes 1: 9 ' . . . so there is nothing new under the sun.'

By now, I don’t believe there’s a person out there who doesn’t recognize the name of the very famous TV show ‘Survivor’. One internet search claims that it ‘launched a cultural phenomenon’ – that is to say that it is claimed to be the BEGINNING of an extraordinary example of the accepted values of a society (well, if you put all those definitions together).

The premise of 'Survivor':
Basically, 16 strangers are REMOVED from the comforts of their everyday life to ENDURE hardships – hardships that ultimately make them STRONGER PEOPLE - for a period of time (oddly enough almost 40 days), risking JUDGEMENT in an effort to RECEIVE the coveted REWARD at the end of their ‘MISSION’ Trip.

Jesus says to give up the comforts of our life and endure hardships for a time (ultimately refining us) in order to have life and life more abundantly.

Another one . . . 'the Amazing Race’.

The Premise of this show:
Basically, a group of 11 people are to PARTNER with one (who will help them) as they are WILLINGLY manipulated through a series of journeys which have them leaving behind the comforts of their life to SEEK CLUES and greater understanding of the PATH they are to take in an effort to receive the coveted REWARD at the end of their ‘mission’ trip.

Paul says in Hebrews 12: ‘ . . . to run with endurance, the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus . . .’

Another one . . . “Extreme Makeover Home Edition”

The premise of this show:
This one’s a bit different – a take on helping the home-LESS where one deserving family has their DISTRAUGHT home LEVELED, and another amazing home is built with the finest ingredients by the hands of MASTER CARPENTERS . . . all done in seven (7) days.

In all cases – and trust me when I say that I could name many more – but, in all cases – the program viewer SITS on the sidelines week after week for the duration of the show and literally WATCHES as others actively participate in the desired mission. Many cheer on favorite contestants and most CRY several times during the course of ‘Makeover’, many of us just needing to ‘FEEL’ again.

ALL the contestants – not just the winners – usually GAIN so much for merely having experienced the mission.

Many who engage in these shows regularly, do so to simply be a PART of something BIGGER than themselves – bigger than their everyday routine allows.

OH . . . if only they knew . . .

My prayer is that you will CHOOSE to get into the REAL game of life . . . look a little deeper . . . seek a little further . . .

Sunday, April 6, 2008

‘Chasing a Good Name . . .’

I often see many insights in movies . . . what can I say, I dig movies – great escapes that ultimately bring me back to a more insightful reality.

I have referred to the movie, ‘Sommersby’ a few times now. Richard Gere plays the character of one man who actually (because they could have been twins in appearance) steals the NAME of another man after this man’s death because his own was one of bad reputation. The GOOD in him wanted desperately to LIVE the life of that GOOD NAME.

So I began to think . . . What’s IN a name?

When I tapped into dictionary .com, I was shocked to see that there were 35 entries for this one little word – more reinforcement to what I already know – there is MORE to a name than many want to admit.

There were a few definitions that really struck me:

The Obvious:
1. a word or a combination of words by which a person, place, or thing, a body or class, or any object of thought is designated, called, or known.

We are KNOWN at first sight by something.

The Specific:
4. a reputation of a particular kind given by common opinion

We are KNOWN at first sight by something . . . and then BY COMMON OPIONION – by reputation – something GAINED after TIME, we are recognized by a more SPECIFIC classification based on our ACTIONS.

The Insight:
22. designed for or carrying a name

We are KNOWN at first sight by something . . . and then recognized by Reputation . . . BUT this reputation often grows out of something that we were actually DESIGNED to become.

We have a genetic make-up in the PHYSICAL REALM which is our body function. But we ALSO have a genetic make-up in the SPIRIT REALM – that which we were INTENDED to become.

And WHEN we live and ACT OUTSIDE of this SPIRITUAL genetic make-up – we often develop a NEGATIVE reputation . . . something we were never INTENDED to have.

In the movie, Richard Gere’s character NEEDED to BECOME the GOOD NAME that was inherently IN HIM. In the end, He was WILLING to DIE OFF in order to REMAIN the GOOD that that name carried.

~

You will not always understand what you are ‘chasing’ . . . but I can promise you that you will RECOGNIZE it WHEN you eventually ‘catch it’. . . because, like any good name, the things that ARE intended for you all along . . . WHEN you KILL OFF those things that were NEVER INTENDED to be . . . like a struggling plant that is freed from the tangle of weeds . . . it will eventually GROW YOU to good reputation . . .

Keep Chasing . . .