‘ T R Y as you might . . . '

I believe to understand what someone is saying, one needs to remember the character of the one using the word. Truth often comes out when one speaks . . . it’s just a matter of HEARING what they are really saying.

Shortly after the breakup of my marriage, I was on a mad search to figure out what exactly went wrong. I went over many of the conversations leading up to the final decisions and I began to look into the definitions of specific words. What I started was a process I have dubbed as ‘definition surfing’ where one definition leads to further seeking of another descriptive word and so forth (true word digging, if you will). What surprised me most was that most words have MANY definitions listed – many different from my own understanding of that word . . . had I just taken a minute to see this then, perhaps I would have understood better where the mind-frame was as the time.

We often grow up understanding the meaning of something based on the definitions given to us by our parents and other influential people in our life. Most times we never take the time to look up what each word means. Because of this, we often USE words based solely on our limited understanding of them. Again, I was shocked to see the OTHER definitions of some of the key words. I could go on about this understanding alone and how it is SO critical to have a FULL understanding of things in order to effectively communicate. What I have found with the use of some words is that what often BEGINS as a positive often ends up as a negative as the chosen word becomes a veiled excuse for some.

When I was growing up, there were two words I was not allowed to use in my home: CAN’T and TRY. I definitely could not used the word Can’t and I could ONLY use the word Try if it meant that I was trying something NEW for the first time. I clearly understood the reasons behind the first but I struggled to understand the latter. After all, we are always taught to at least TRY our best in all efforts.

Later, I came across TWO others who preached adamantly against that word as they claimed it was a COP-OUT for actually ‘DOING’. In fact, one had even gone on to say that it was a very deceiving word for one who didn’t want to really DO at all. Sadly enough, in recent years - all three of those people – who so passionate preached against it, now use this word the most. All three people, who have been beacons to me over the years, now make me take great pause as I am forever disappointed by their undelivered promises . . . newly developed character traits . . .

Since the weather has all but blown, I decided to take a few and go surfing – a revisit to that word that is used most often in today’s language.

TRY - to attempt to do or accomplish.
ATTEMPT - to make an effort at
EFFORT – 1) The use of physical or mental energy to do something; exertion.
2) A difficult exertion of the strength or will.
3) A usually earnest attempt

What amuses me most about VIEWING it in this manner is that if you trail the definitions, the last one I listed actually lists a great truth (usually) – what may begin as an earnest attempt . . . starts to slide as one begins to realize the mental and physical energies that have to be spent in that effort.

Another truth - not one definition states an actual achieved accomplishment – only an attempt.

So, to the three in my life – please, do not even bother ‘trying’ . . . cuz I already know you will not . . . newly developed character traits and all . . .

Keep digging . . .