Legal jargon gone awry . . . there’s a reason why lawyers have to go to school for so long, the legal language along makes one’s head spin.
I am growing weary as my re-enlistment into a personal legal battle forever seems to be at the hands of this now foreign enemy. Sad how domestic battles seem to mare the face of a once secured ally, for I do not even recognize this man I was once very intimate with. But, like all things in recent years, I resolve to accept it as a part of my pre-ordained plan as it seems to have primed me for the many things that come my way these days. Perhaps it prepares me more for way down the unforeseen road of my life (“wax on, wax off,” says Mr. Miyagi – a blog in and of itself for another time). But truly, truly I can say each day, ‘I am still blessed’ as I seem to find enlightenment from every rock over-turned. I find that I have these ‘Whoa’ moments that a few select have actually found humor in simply observing the contortion of my face when the ‘lil light bulb goes off . . . well-earned wrinkle makers, that’s what those are. I’m sure I would have earned a whopping ‘10’ with this next one.
Knee-deep in paperwork and a trail of communications, I was trying to deliver a counter response to an on-going recent battle over misunderstood holiday visitations – namely Christmas time – different from the rest as it encompasses a two-week span. Due to the individual school district dismissals, there was – once again a disagreement on the interpretation of the split time: If we based it on the actual observed holidays and the actual days the district dismissed, the split time would not make sense. My stance: since we have to follow the district holiday break, we overlook the actual observed holidays and just celebrate in the even split – that way each parent would get equal time. This was not agreed upon and it was pointed out that we must follow the agreement to the letter of the written word. In my argument, I pointed out that the orders were to be used as a guiding post – to be used only if there was complete disagreement among the parties but even then to be used with interpretation. It was in the best interest of the children for both parties to work amicably together with any arrangements. This was not well received, so I hunkered down a bit more stating that if we tried to follow this agreement to the exact letter of the law, we would ALWAYS get hung up on things like this. That it would, in fact ‘screw us’ as we would always run into times where circumstances would continually change – we needed to focus on the principals of the agreement – the key points of the agreement – in essence the promises of the agreement if we were to . . . . .
“ W H O A . . . . “ (yeah, good thing I was typing an email . . . this was where my face did that funny contorting thing) I went on . . . . we needed to remember the agreements were based on promises or principle ORDERS not the actual words that made up the order because over time, the nuances of our daily routines will change but the REASON for the order will NOT. I shared that I was not trying to destroy the order . . . but merely uphold it as it applied to the current situation . . . I was doing this because I loved my children and I wanted them to have equal time with each parent as they felt they needed.
Unfortunately he does not agree with the interpretation for he does not want to understand . . . I am sorry for him on this account. But I do understand and all the more BECAUSE of this burden, so all is not lost. And it will always be for reasons such as this that I regain strength again and it all becomes worth it.
When you are digging, don’t forget to look under the rocks that seem to hit you in the head . . . because they’re meant to be a direct hit, they are usually quite painful and unfortunately the most overlooked.
‘Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us – for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree” . . . ‘ ~ Galatians 3:13
‘ Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.” ~ Matthew 5:17
Sunday, February 10, 2008
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