'Finding the WIN in the small Print'

It’s amazing what most view as a WIN. My son’s team, try as they might, forever seem to end in a losing final score. However, they have played several amazing games. I have watched as this team has developed in their skills over the weeks and have gone from awkward and unfamiliar to athletic and team-aware. I find agreement with that old adage, ‘it’s not the score that counts but how you play the game. They play their hearts out most of the time.

Today was like that for me . . . but rather than ON the court – it was another day IN court. Acting as Pro Se (the on-going battling of my Ex and the subordination of my previous lawyer have all but rendered me lawyer-free), I was shown favor from the Judge on a critical matter as he made his ruling in my favor – a true blessing, an answer to many long prayers. But this ruling was veiled in additional legal banter, tossed out petitions and stern warnings for potential future issues. What should have been a fairly festive ride home for me turned into more of a somber one. I was trying to make heads and tails of the wrap up discussions, what my future play was to be with these tossed out petitions and how very odd it was to NOT have a pending court date. Pavlov’s response dies hard when the stimulant is suddenly taken away.

The reason I was feeling so heavy was because today was OPPOSITE of what I normally experience. Comparing it to what I am trying to teach my son about his games, for the first time, I left court feeling like even though I got the overall WIN – I didn’t necessarily play the game all that well. I left feeling like that legal world kicked my butt and I am but a very small fish in a very large legal tank. I felt like what normally should have been a BREEZE as the attacks from my Ex are so unwarranted, MERE legal WORDS can break even the best of us. There was a critical point in today’s proceedings where I felt my foot slip and I realized how critical lawyers are to staying a float in the courts – one can have all the proof and truth behind them but if one cannot LEGALLY present this, it can fall through the cracks.

So, after all was said and done, I sat quietly – for a time. The more I thought and prayed on it, the more I began to recognize some things.

I began to look at the attitudes of the judge and the opposing lawyer today. The judge pointed out several things to me - particularly with an area of MY mis-filed petitions (I just don’t have time to go to law school right now). While he said, “I cannot give legal guidance on how to properly file these papers . . . “ he actually repeated the area where I made my mistake (to which I diligently made note). He went on to comment about potential future attacks from my Ex (almost as if to say, “Head’s up – patterns have been as such so PREPARE for this”) perhaps it’s only wishful thinking on my part and this was not really what he was doing, but trust me when I say that I have been in his courtroom long enough to watch his character . . . (he was the one that granted me leave in the last proceeding to FILE one of the petitions – something he spelled out that I had not thought to do).

Additionally, the lawyer seems to have a different attitude, normally very cold and curt with me, he was rather cordial today. As with every appearance, an order must be written up on what transpired. While he recorded that the Judge ordered the petitions to be stricken, he made his last entry a cordial one reminding me of the option to refill those petitions if I so choose to do. Again - trust me, his writing is not normally this nice or informative.

While I pray that this is truly the end of a very long battle – I’ll take the peace while it is here and opt to not re-file my petitions at this time. I choose to END my funk by realizing that I really did have a WIN-WIN with this one. I may have left feeling as if I made a few technical fouls, but I played as well as I could – with all I had. I got the favored ruling, I got a little direction from two unlikely sources and I got overall PEACE . . . for the first time in a long time.

Until next time . . .