‘Bi-Polar . . .’

A recent article caught my eye. The headline: ‘Bipolar disorder in Children: A new look’

The reason it caught my eye . . . I am a product of bi-polar genes. I say that with caution because the proverbial ‘THEY’ have not proven that there is a gene for this and currently there is no blood or brain imaging test to prove anything – only that of diagnosis based on symptoms and family history. See, growing up, my mother struggled with this disorder and her father before her, much the same. As I grew up, because it was in our ‘genes’, my father was always on watch to make sure we four children showed no signs of the illness.

As adolescence came into the picture, I began doing my own research on how hormones play a key role in emotions, etc. and I stayed alert to the many changes within myself. I recognized that if I did not stay IN CONTROL of my SELF, I could eventually cave to it’s control . . . I chose to rise above it and stand guard to it which often left me open to receiving ridicule for being too ‘strict’ with myself. My friends could not understand why I didn’t allow myself to party more. I thickened my skin to this peer pressure and lived the only way I knew to SUSTAIN ME.

Further into my adult-life, while I had worked so hard to stave off particular habits that would weaken me, I began to recognized other areas that I did not stand guard against and began to see signs in me that were clearly symptomatic of this disease.

In the same manner that one has to guard a FORTRESS, we have to stand guard for our SELVES. There were weaknesses that I had developed over the course of my life-time and BECAUSE I ignored those soft-spots, I easily allow ENTRY to the many enemies that wanted to attack. WHEN I was rebounding from giving birth, my resistance was much lower – my hormones were OFF-Balance and I would often surrender to the negative emotions that sleep deprecation brings on.

I was against taking any medication in the beginning – from my stance, that would be ‘admitting’ I was a failure. I thank God for sending me a friend with SOUND advice. She pointed out that in the same manner that a HEART PATIENT had to take medicine to keep their heart pumping after an attack, this patient would have to use the ‘band aide’ of the medicine WHILE they ate right and exercised to STRENGTHEN their heart. She reminded me that eventually, WHEN the heart was strong enough on it’s own – this patient might be able to go off the actual medicine that STABALIZED them.

Because of this, I did take that advice and was grateful for the band aide while I needed it.

During that time, I PURPOSED myself to grow stronger and rebuild – my physical health (lost weight, became more active, cut back on negative foods, made sure I got plenty of rest – but not too much), my emotional health (gave up negative behaviors, etc.) and most importantly I REBUILT my spiritual health (my fortress using GOD as my foundation).

A few short years later, another friend of mine gave me SOUND ADVICE that the ‘BAND AIDE’ was ONLY good for the short time it served it’s purpose and now that I was strong enough, that band aide was, in effect, KEEPING ME from HEALING ALL THE WAY. So with much prayer, and under the supervision of my doctor, I took his advice and WEENED myself OFF of the meds.

Like all things different, I struggled a bit to find BALANCE in my new skin but I can say in all honesty that I am a few years into this new REBUILD and I can tell you that I have been able to WEATHER some rough waters over the course of these last few years and I have remained STRONGER than ever before.

So, now, I sit hear reading many headlines and hear of the staggering rates of diagnosis and it makes me look a little harder to UNCOVER the TRUTHS of these illnesses. See, I have three children of my own and I will FOREVER stand guard to the attacks that come their way. I will forever be aware – of the ever-present THREAT that will always hover over my family lineage – a threat that will ONLY become real if I ALLOW it to take form.

Like all things, I went to the WORD itself to find the beginning of truth.

BI-POLAR:

1 : having or involving the use of two poles
2 of a neuron : having an efferent and an afferent process

Basically we have two sides of an IMPULSE – one pulls towards and one pulls away. An IMPULSE is any SUDDEN, involuntary inclination prompting to ACTION.

IN LIFE, we will always have two choices – to go TO the thing that is POSITIVE and GIVES STRENGTH . . . or to run AWAY from it. Our actions reflect accordingly.

When we ALIGN with the positive – it gives us STRENGTH, endurance – producing a positive action.

When we ALIGN with the negative – it removes our strength, it weakens our endurance – producing a negative action.

When we BOUNCE from positive to negative, we DISPLAY SPORATIC behaviors . . . in essence we are double-minded. All the GOOD is counter-acted by the presence of the bad and we end up having a reputation of DISORDER.

Medicines are often used to LIMIT our abilities to bounce from one extreme to the other.

In the same manner, BOUNDARIES keep us from bouncing from one pole to the next. When I SEE my children acting in extreme behaviors, I REMIND myself that they are just in need of BOUNDARIES . . . of POSITIVE reinforcements. I pray and then act accordingly and in a short time, they settle their behavior and the disorder is gone. This PRACTICE keeps me from obsessing over the perceived family curse.

In today’s world where DIAGNOSIS and CAUSES are more prevalent than actual CURES and FIXES, it is my prayer that we would ALL be mindful of necessary BOUNDARIES to keep us safe from ever increasing DISORDERS.

Keep digging . . .