‘SHIPWRECKED’

Ever hear the story of the shipwrecked man?

A man finds himself stranded on an island, shipwrecked and he prays to God to rescue him. Days go by and he continues to pray. Finally an odd little ship, humble in it’s appearance, stops and the unlikely captain says, “Need help?” – “No thanks”, replies the man, “God will rescue me”. So off sails the little odd boat and many more days of praying go by. Finally another boat, little larger and more normal in appearance stops on the island, “Looks like we came just in time – hop on board” says the captain and the first mate. “No thanks”, replies the man, “God will rescue me in a very special way”. So off goes the second boat . . . and so on and so on. Soon, the man perishes and finds himself before God when he asks, “WHY did you not rescue me, I prayed earnestly and you did not come?” After a long sigh, God replies, “I sent many to rescue you . . . but you ignored them all because they didn’t come in a manner that YOU wanted or expected.”

COMFORT vs. CHANGE

All too often I find that people would RATHER stay shipwrecked . . . sadly, it’s the easier choice . . .

‘Russian Roulette’

Today, I am deeply saddened by the news of a friend that had been in a terrible auto accident. She was returning home from work this past Wednesday when she was in this horrible accident that left her with major head trauma . . . and within just days, she has passed away. She leaves behind a husband and three daughters.

While I know deep down, this is not the case, I feel sometimes there is a larger than life game of Russian Roulette being played. I sit here and think of all the times I have been so careless behind the wheel – putting my head down to look for something, taking that call and trying to drink my coffee at the same time, breaking up a fight between my kids where I peer in the review mirror to give that “you’ve pushed me to the limit” glare – all the while driving at regular speeds. I am fully aware that on several occasions, the Good Lord has spared me from my stupidity.

I am betting that this friend played by the rules. I am betting that this friend was driving appropriately.

So it makes me wonder . . . WHY?

Why does the ONE have to go while the IDIOT still stands?

I sit here tonight, quite shaken from this news . . . these last few weeks have been quite heavy with the passing of another great woman in my life – a woman who was blessed to have a long life – and many other stories of courageous health battles, etc… I sit here and feel a little bit like I did after 911 – when I realized my sense of ‘security’ had been stolen.

I sit here and think when is that bullet gonna hit me? Just how many times have I put that gun to my head as I spin the barrel of carelessness?

Many . . . including myself, will often share sympathetic words like, “there’s got to be a reason for all things . . . “ If this reason is partially to help ME realize something, I am truly sorry to the family of this friend. I hope you all realize just how great she was and just how much her passing will forever remind me to be more responsible behind the wheel – to appreciate every moment as if it truly is our last.

We will miss you Janet ~ 3/29/08

‘Loosing Seasons often bring out the WIN’

I’ve written about my kids lately . . . much can be revealed through viewing their young lives . . . poignant passages to our own live in so many ways.

Recently my eldest son wrapped up his basketball season – a tough season as they closed with only two ‘official’ wins on the books. I reference – official – because while this may be etched in the official books, they have actually had so many more winning games in spirit. They played their hearts out. Theirs was a season that started quite awkward – so many new players to this team. While many had played before, and quite well I might add, this was the first time many played together. Anyone even the least bit familiar with sports knows how crucial TEAM compatibility is to having a winning season. Very much in the manner of the young newlyweds, that first season can bring pure joy or bring much anxiety depending on the way things come together.

The Head Coach was a drill sergeant of sorts and many a practice had the boys almost falling over. He got a bad wrap in the beginning for his overly aggressive personality and his quick temper. Had I only seen this side of him, I would have been quite disappointed and tempted to remove my son from the game. I am not soft – but it appeared that he was the negative that kept these boys down. What I soon discovered (from attending the many practices) was that he truly did care for these boys – he earnestly wanted them to succeed . . . so much so that he gave them quite a talk during the wrap of their last practice. He admitted to them that they had made many mistakes – but that he, too, had made many. He wanted them to know that while the season appeared to be pretty crappy, he was extremely proud of their performance – that he had never seen a team IMPROVE so much in the shortest time and he was hoping that it would end up being the ONE SEASON that DEFINED their remaining seasons. He shared that he had only had two loosing seasons in the past – one as a player and one as a coach. He shared that it was those times that MADE him what he was today. He admitted that he slipped this season – that he became aware of many things from this season – many things that he would not soon forget . . . another loosing season that would define him.

This struck a pretty tight chord with me as I have recently walked through what many would view as loosing seasons. Sometimes, life tosses us in with the toughest team players and while we fight like hell to win that game, the final score ultimately reveals a LOSS. In the beginning, when my stamina was quite low, I would have hung my head, allowing myself to get taken down by the official record of society's stat book. But, somewhere along the way, I started recognizing that the official records ONLY matter to those KEEPING SCORE.

I started to recognize the Seeker that I was, the Fighter that I had become and the ultimate Winner I was meant to be.

I honestly don't believe that I would have realized this had I NOT played in those Loosing Seasons . . . for they truly were the times that defined what my character is to this day.

So, to the many who walk through the disappointments of Life’s Loosing Seasons, my hope is that you will lift your head to see the UNOFFICIAL WIN . . . the win that will end up meaning the most in the long run.

Keep playing the game . . .

'Patience'

PATIENCE is the darndest thing . . .

A friend of mine shared, rather humorously (I’m trying to get her to blog!), a moment from her day and a confession of sorts about the events that tested her patience. As always, the dig started, I replied and this is what was shared:

Friend:

I honestly think God was trying to teach me patience today in leaps and bounds. I head out to go to the post office and get stuck by the loooooooooonest, slooooooooooowest train. Then I stopped by Jewel to get us some more creamer for the office. So I figured I'd pick me up some Tostidos, Cheese and fresh salsa from the deli for my lunch. There were 2 people ahead of me and 2 deli clerks. Thought, ah, that's not bad. Shouldn't be that long of a wait. Of course both people were getting enough cold cuts, cheese and salads for a giant party it seemed. And even worse, this goof ball guy (as cute as he was) gets the last of the salsa. I almost kicked him in the knee........... hey dude, that was for my lunch! And I know from past experience when I was the one to get the last of it (didn't quite fill my container) that what they have in the deli case is all they have. Needless to say, I walked away frustrated. Then I got get my nasal spray and the creamer and head to the Osco counter to pay. Of course the cashier is at the other end working on the picture developer. I'm like.... helllllllllo, you have a customer. Finally she comes. Then I get to the post office and head in. Of course there's the tiniest, most adorable but painfully sloooooooooooooooow little old lady in her cute black slacks, bright pink jacket and matching hat. She's doing to Tim Conway shuffle. I didn't want to disrespect her and go speeding around her, so I just shuffled behind her. Then I stop and get gas on the way back. 29 freaking dollars! Well, there goes another paycheck. Steadily prodding along trying to get back to work before the 11:00 whistle blows and (our scale-guy) turns into a pumpkin I get stuck by yet another slooooooooooooooooooooow, looooooooooooooooooooong train. Son of a gun!!! And then last but not least I get stuck behind the sweeper truck. Ok God, I have patience already...... cut me some slack here.

My reply:

Darlin - you should be a writer - a true gift you have (you really don't realize how great you are - do you?) Almost pee’d my pants with your descriptions.

PATIENCE is the darndest thing - yes, you and Chava really do have it (patience) better than anyone I know (I long to take your example) - but often times it's tested NOT to see if you have it - but to KEEP you APPLYING it so it does not harden. The VIRTUE has to be WORKED regularly for it to be in PRIME SHAPE. Make sense?

ALSO - Take a minute and think back on ALL those that crossed your paths during that time. Had it not been YOU - someone might have knocked that little ol, well-dressed gal down. Had it not been YOU, some counter gal might have gotten chewed out - Had it not been for those two people in front of you - especially that guy who took all the salsa - it might have been YOU that ended up with a stomach ache because I'm betting that salsa was not good!

PROVISIONS are made in ALL ways . . . you just have to be willing to SEE IT.
Well done, good friend.

Remember: When you pray for patience, you will not be given the virture but rather EVERY OPPORTUNITY to GROW the virture . . . when you have the virture, you will be given the opportunities to continue to APPLY that virture.

Keep seeking . . .

'Don't Cheat the Journey'

My daughter recently tried to race through some home work, not wanting to face the fact that something was throwing her a bit (most things come easy for this one and she falters when she has to try a bit harder at times). She was having to read through a chapter to find a specific adjective – something that answered the question, “What kind of?” I asked her to read aloud and noticed that she was just hunting for the answer. She was getting frustrated and she just wanted to be done. When I called her on it, asking her to tell me what the content of that part of the story was – she said she wasn’t paying attention because she just wanted to get through.

I took pause for a moment as I realized that my daughter is very much her mother when I was that age, for this was how I used to live most of my younger days – racing through to get to the end so that I could be on to the next thing. When I was young, I wanted to be older, when I started a project, I wanted to rush past the important steps to get to the fun parts – when I was in sports I wanted the games and none of the practices . . . when a problem came my way, I just wanted to fix it so I could move beyond the discomfort of the situation.

As I got older and life set in a bit, I began to realize that while finding a quick solution may be necessary for some things, it’s not always the right answer for every problem. What I found in trying to operate in this mode was that more than not, the very thing that I thought was the answer often became the source of more questions. Because having an answer is one thing – UNDERTANDING the answer is something all together different.

I told my daughter to go back and re-read - slowly - so that she could SEE what she was looking for. Along the way, she discovered that the story she sped through before was actually interesting. She spent a little more time and began to understood the characters, how the story was unfolding and all of a sudden, she stumbled upon the answer. She actually saw it quite easily and she had peace because she wasn’t so bent on the mission. She actually enjoyed the journey of discovering the answer.

I have found that life is very much like this. When I try too hard to get to where I think I need to be, I miss out on discovering the details of the journey. I miss out on the unfolding of my character – on what I can become as I walk along the journey. I’ve discovered that short-cuts, even in heavy traffic can end up taking much longer then the orchestrated route.

Stay on course and don’t cheat your journey . . .

‘To be or not to be . . . the Groundhog'

Two amazing fellow bloggers have recently posted entries that mentioned February and it’s character leader, the Groundhog. One even went as far as to add a definition for the groundhog and you all know how I love those definitions. I’ll have to be honest, up until I saw this entry, the only times I fondly thought about that little guy was in remembering that I had many friends who worked on the making of that movie “Groundhog Day” including a friend who is actually in one of the scenes. And more fondly still was when my first son was about 2- 2 ½ years old and on the way to his grandmother’s house we saw a groundhog. Try as he might to say the name of that animal, it would always come out as “hound-grog” – had me in tears then . . . still gets me going when I think of it today.

Anyway, I was looking at that definition again . . .

From Wikipedia:
"Groundhog Day or Groundhog's Day is a holiday celebrated United States and Canada on February 2nd. In weather lore, if a ground hog, also known as a woodchuck, marmot or ground squirrel, emerges from its burrow on this day and fails to see its shadow because the weather is cloudy, winter will soon end. If the groundhog sees its shadow, it will return into its burrow, and the winter will continue for 6 more weeks."

. . . and something hit me.

If you’ll notice – it’s never the people that scare the groundhog . . . it’s the shadow of himself that does him in.

We are oftentimes very much like the groundhog in so many ways. We get spooked by our own shadow – the demons we allow ourselves to hold on to – those vices that we all know we have. We allow them to take up residence within us and even on our supposed best days, they sneak up on us and scare the hell out of us, making us scamper back into our protective holes ultimately giving authority to the unending dreariness of our heart’s winter.

Oh to be the groundhog who alludes his oppressive shadow. Oh to give way to the birth of new things as we allow Spring to grace our hearts in a more timely manner.

Any good farmer knows that the only thing a hole is good for is for planting seeds of hope.

Hope for a good harvest.

Hope for what is still to come.

Here’s to climbing out of that hole and looking the other way . . .

' Just a little Taste . . . '

Energy drinks . . . they’re everywhere now. My kids have friends who pound these things through the day. Did you catch that part – my kids . . . have friends who . . . These are mere teens (pre-teens actually) who feel they NEED these things to get through the day. Amazing.

Now before I begin this rant – for that is what this part will definitely be – I will admit to my own vices – I have a few that I cannot seem to shake – habits that I had started long ago that while I say that I am working on finding ways to break them, I obviously don’t WANT to give them up just yet (another insight all together). So, without wanting to give the impression of thinking that I am holier than thou – I get it – things are hard to shake.

What concerns me are the ever-increasing growing trends with these supplements. Ours is a society that spends tons of money on ways to make our lives EASY . . . then spends the remaining money on ways to ward off the effects of BEING lazy. Seriously – if you sit long enough for the commercial breaks – you will see the one ad for the robot vacuum (because WHY SHOULD YOU have to clean your home?) and then several following ads on weight control items and work-out equipment. Because our society has put themselves in such a state with horrible eating and excercise habits MANY feel as if they cannot make it through the day WITHOUT added boost. Mere CHILDREN now feel they cannot do the same and they are getting hooked on these drinks which are not good in large doses.

Do we really NOT SEE the stupidity in all this? But I digress . . . the whole point of this entry was to share how EASY it is to fall into a trap.

My son has literally been HOUNDING me, to just TRY some. There’s something I wanted to say about him at this point – that even though I know he is not perfect and will probably try other things, I was pretty impressed that he listened for the most part on this one. We went round and round one day on WHY I didn’t want him to even TRY IT.

His argument for trying – ‘But if you let me just try it, I will know and not want it anymore’.

My argument for NOT trying it – ‘But when you TASTE it – you will know what all the fuss is about and will WANT more because it’s harder to SAY NO to yourself once you’ve tried it.

When we rounded this discussion for the 20th time, I finally said – why do you think the message for not using drugs is JUST SAY NO? He said – ‘but that’s different because DRUGS are bad for you’. I said – yes but so is THIS – it’s just accepted by the public as NOT BEING BAD.

Hmmmmmmmmmm . . . . when you break something down, you know?

How many things in our life do we KNOW to be ‘NOT GOOD’ but yet we open that door – just a little . . . just a taste . . . . I can stop. I have grown to recognize what my vices are and have to honestly admit that I still allow for times when I just want to be weak. I can also admit that I know there are reasons why I shouldn’t even start and have gotten much better at recognizing what I shouldn’t even TASTE, as I recognize it to be something I know I would want to continue. Progress is a good thing.

Regarding the energy drinks with my kid – we ended by doing an experiment. I pulled into a convenient store lot and allowed my son to run in and buy one of those cans – I could see that he was just too bent on trying and wanted him to be under my supervision to discuss things. This was the progression of his experience:

Initial reaction - one of excitement: “I can?!? “
Then – doubt: “Are you sure – I won’t if you really don’t want me to”
(He returned after making the purchase but hesitates)
Reaction from purchase - Observant: “wow – this small can cost $$$$$”
Hesitation again as he cracked the can open and smells it.
Reaction - one of realization: “ wow, it smells good“
Hesitation as he sips . . .
Reaction - again one of realization: “it actually tastes good, Mom . . . “
Decision: “ I don’t really want anymore . . . “
A few minutes goes buy . . .
NEW DECISION – with another sip: ‘ It does taste good, though . . . ‘
Contemplations as he put his eyes down – almost like he didn’t want to look at me.

I asked him a few questions:

How many of these cans did you say your friend drinks during the day? (shocking answer)
How much money do you think he spends daily? (shocking answer)
How is his energy level after a few hours? (he is the most tired of all his friends)

My son realized that what appeared to be a great thing is actually the beginning of many future problems. He realized that the experience was not as grand as he had imagined it to be. And finally, he now realizes what he has to say NO to – which will be harder.

Oddly enough – the flavor that he tried . . . GREEN APPLE.

Know your limits . . .