Sometimes, when my life starts to fill itself to the brim, I find myself running into road blocks that make me take great pause . . . and eventually, I find myself getting back on track.
It seems like forever ago when I discovered that my computer caught a bug - devistation ensued as I felt I could not go on. I had allowed myself to become so attached to a piece of hardware - my connection to the outside world and then Poof - gone in a flash.
I say gone because I was in a rebound financially, and I seriously had to choose wisely what to do next. I sat in a funk for days as I could not find a reasonable OUT for my dilemma. Everything I was . . . or rather thought I had become, was on that machine.
Once again, I had invested all of me into something that literally timed out. Where was my back-up? I'm the one who learned many of life's lessons from my boot camp days of disaster mitigation training. Why wouldn't I back everything up? Why wouldn't I expect something like this?
I suddenly found myself in a great pause and rather than rushing in to fix it, I had at least learned a valuable lesson that this 'crash' came at a very hectic and 'distracted' time in my life. The good Lord was trying to redirect me to another place and I just wasn't listening . . . so I fully believe He finally just pulled the plug on me.
It's taken me a while - I have made some major changes in my life - tightening my belt, so to speak, and I am feeling more focused than ever before. I can't say that I would have gotten here had I kept tapping on so often. I am almost at a point where I can more easily get my computer back to a working status (on borrowed one as I sit now) and hopefully I will find that my many writings are still accessable at that time.
And if not, the one thing that TIME will often do is EASE the pain of something that feels a loss. I have created many more writings in the meantime and I feel as if refinement might be coming through. Perhaps all things really do happen for a reason and this was just to make me let go of many of the things I thought I had become again.
It's all still good, take care now . . .
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sunday, May 25, 2008
‘Processed for Strength’
I see life lessons ~ truths, if you will ~ in the oddest things sometimes.
As I educate the public about recycling and being sustainable, I am forever having to educate myself on the many recycling processes. The other day, I was studying the process of how plastics are turned into eco-spun – the material used in making clothing and other materials. I was fascinated – who knew I would get this excited over what many perceive to be garbage.
Very simply, the water bottles (*Polyethylene terephthalate (PET or PETE) (#1) are ground down, put through a wash to purify the granules and then melted into a taffy-like consistency. This ‘taffy’ is (for lack of a better word) feathered out in sheets on several large rollers and almost ‘combed’ into many fibers. If one were to grab the fibers before the end of the process and pull on them, the fibers would actually snap in half quite easily. There is one more critical step before this eco-spun is ready to be woven into materials:
It must get PULLED to it’s limit to GAIN strength.
We often feel tested throughout our lifetime . . . feeling perhaps, that if one more thing comes our way, we’ll literally snap. Unfortunately, there are those who give in to this self-doubt – those whose original foundation was perhaps not strong to begin with, however, most of us come with a small amount of two very important ingredients – that much needed ‘endurance’ and a good measure of ‘desire’ to grow – both of which INCREASE over time as we are tested.
Let’s look at this process again.
The bottles have to be collected
(set apart from the rest of the garbage)
The bottles have to be put through a grinder
(breaking it’s original form so that it can be changed)
The plastic grind has to go through a wash process
(to remove impurities)
The plastic grind has to be heated to a ‘taffy’ consistency
(the heat softens it into a pliable material)
This ‘taffy’ passes over several rollers and almost combed into fibers
(the material is being refined)
This fiber will then be stretched to give it strength
(pulling the molecules into proper alignment)
Being pulled, being tested to the limits is a necessary process in order to gain strength. Many may not understand but I will share that in my 40 years, I have come to understand that there is a PURPOSE for everything under the sun so this is no exception. Science is often used to DIS-PROVE God . . . I chuckle a bit when I hear that - for NOTHING can disprove God, people. A simple computer search on carbon fibers (which is basically what WE are) will reveal that when DNA molecules are properly aligned, they become stronger. Please pay attention to the words ‘properly aligned’. For those of us who understand the practice of chiropractics, therapy comes in the form of manipulating and aligning the spinal column – the axis of the skeleton – the center point that the rest of the body rotates on.
It’s ALL about the alignment. WHEN we are pulled tight, we are often forced to snap back into the original order of our alignment . . . we become stronger in our being when we align to His axis.
‘HE gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless’
ISAIAH 40:29
So, for those of you who feel as though they cannot be pulled a minute longer, please take comfort in knowing that HE already knows your limits . . . what won’t kill you, really will make you stronger.
As I educate the public about recycling and being sustainable, I am forever having to educate myself on the many recycling processes. The other day, I was studying the process of how plastics are turned into eco-spun – the material used in making clothing and other materials. I was fascinated – who knew I would get this excited over what many perceive to be garbage.
Very simply, the water bottles (*Polyethylene terephthalate (PET or PETE) (#1) are ground down, put through a wash to purify the granules and then melted into a taffy-like consistency. This ‘taffy’ is (for lack of a better word) feathered out in sheets on several large rollers and almost ‘combed’ into many fibers. If one were to grab the fibers before the end of the process and pull on them, the fibers would actually snap in half quite easily. There is one more critical step before this eco-spun is ready to be woven into materials:
It must get PULLED to it’s limit to GAIN strength.
We often feel tested throughout our lifetime . . . feeling perhaps, that if one more thing comes our way, we’ll literally snap. Unfortunately, there are those who give in to this self-doubt – those whose original foundation was perhaps not strong to begin with, however, most of us come with a small amount of two very important ingredients – that much needed ‘endurance’ and a good measure of ‘desire’ to grow – both of which INCREASE over time as we are tested.
Let’s look at this process again.
The bottles have to be collected
(set apart from the rest of the garbage)
The bottles have to be put through a grinder
(breaking it’s original form so that it can be changed)
The plastic grind has to go through a wash process
(to remove impurities)
The plastic grind has to be heated to a ‘taffy’ consistency
(the heat softens it into a pliable material)
This ‘taffy’ passes over several rollers and almost combed into fibers
(the material is being refined)
This fiber will then be stretched to give it strength
(pulling the molecules into proper alignment)
Being pulled, being tested to the limits is a necessary process in order to gain strength. Many may not understand but I will share that in my 40 years, I have come to understand that there is a PURPOSE for everything under the sun so this is no exception. Science is often used to DIS-PROVE God . . . I chuckle a bit when I hear that - for NOTHING can disprove God, people. A simple computer search on carbon fibers (which is basically what WE are) will reveal that when DNA molecules are properly aligned, they become stronger. Please pay attention to the words ‘properly aligned’. For those of us who understand the practice of chiropractics, therapy comes in the form of manipulating and aligning the spinal column – the axis of the skeleton – the center point that the rest of the body rotates on.
It’s ALL about the alignment. WHEN we are pulled tight, we are often forced to snap back into the original order of our alignment . . . we become stronger in our being when we align to His axis.
‘HE gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless’
ISAIAH 40:29
So, for those of you who feel as though they cannot be pulled a minute longer, please take comfort in knowing that HE already knows your limits . . . what won’t kill you, really will make you stronger.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
‘Addictions . . . ’
Addictions . . . we all have them . . . it’s just that some are not as easily recognizable to the general public or our closest friends.
I have a friend who is struggling through one even as I type. I have been witness to many things in my life time, but until now, I have not had a front row seat to see first hand how difficult the very physical struggle can be to ride one’s self of a mainstream addition.
. . . big sigh . . . I find that in all things along the journey of ‘ME’, God is showing me very real examples of the many struggles I go through in my own life. Until this latest, I did not realize how very real my own addictions are.
A few weeks ago, when it became very real with this friend, I felt that crack in that foundations again ~ you know, when your perceived reality is shaken a bit by something you think could not be possible. Then, when you realize that, ‘Yes – it is quite true’, the world around you starts to melt away and the floor beneath you becomes more unstable. You begin to see all too clearly that the thing others struggles with, is the very thing you struggle with – only under a different mask.
This dear friend recently surrendered to a long-time addiction and has since felt the damages that have come along the way. In the very manner this addiction manifest itself in the physical form (taking hold of the victim and making the body become a slave to it’s presence, this addiction also manifested itself in the form of destroyed relationships, jeopardized employment and stolen securities. Try as they might, this friend could not simply ‘stop’ for the addiction found a way of creeping in. It literally controlled my friend and when this friend tried to stop, the physical being would go through very real manifestations, like ‘the shakes’ and a clouded mental capacity making it nearly impossible to stop.
One night, as I tried reasoning with this friend yet again (one cannot take the substance away, the addict has to push it away for the healing to begin), something became very evident to me. In the very manner I protested – TWO things flashed before my eyes – areas of my life that I have ALLOWED CONTROL over my better judgement.
It’s almost as if a huge spotlight was held over my head . . . and isn’t that the way it says it will be (‘judge NOT lease you be judged’). For the first time, I realized I was holding onto things in the same manner that this friend held onto the alcohol. The difference . . . mine was more a relationship and a mode of operation . . . not mainstream in the least – but still addictions in their own right. What some would perceive as ‘normal’, I have recognized as areas that ultimately hold me back – never to the extreme . . . but enough to recognize the subtle damages over TIME.
In the very manner my friend is having to follow – the 12 steps to recovery - I have vowed to do the same with these areas in my own life – the first one being the admission that I am not going to allow these additions to go on.
So, to the many who want to dig a little deeper to find the root of their existing problems, know this – among what might be a huge pile of negative debris from the years lived before, I can promise you that there will ALSO be a beautiful TREASURE that will be WORTH holding onto. I pray that you gain strength to release the things that are holding you back and also endurance to sustain you when you need to reach out as that brass ring is presented before you.
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous.[8]
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I have a friend who is struggling through one even as I type. I have been witness to many things in my life time, but until now, I have not had a front row seat to see first hand how difficult the very physical struggle can be to ride one’s self of a mainstream addition.
. . . big sigh . . . I find that in all things along the journey of ‘ME’, God is showing me very real examples of the many struggles I go through in my own life. Until this latest, I did not realize how very real my own addictions are.
A few weeks ago, when it became very real with this friend, I felt that crack in that foundations again ~ you know, when your perceived reality is shaken a bit by something you think could not be possible. Then, when you realize that, ‘Yes – it is quite true’, the world around you starts to melt away and the floor beneath you becomes more unstable. You begin to see all too clearly that the thing others struggles with, is the very thing you struggle with – only under a different mask.
This dear friend recently surrendered to a long-time addiction and has since felt the damages that have come along the way. In the very manner this addiction manifest itself in the physical form (taking hold of the victim and making the body become a slave to it’s presence, this addiction also manifested itself in the form of destroyed relationships, jeopardized employment and stolen securities. Try as they might, this friend could not simply ‘stop’ for the addiction found a way of creeping in. It literally controlled my friend and when this friend tried to stop, the physical being would go through very real manifestations, like ‘the shakes’ and a clouded mental capacity making it nearly impossible to stop.
One night, as I tried reasoning with this friend yet again (one cannot take the substance away, the addict has to push it away for the healing to begin), something became very evident to me. In the very manner I protested – TWO things flashed before my eyes – areas of my life that I have ALLOWED CONTROL over my better judgement.
It’s almost as if a huge spotlight was held over my head . . . and isn’t that the way it says it will be (‘judge NOT lease you be judged’). For the first time, I realized I was holding onto things in the same manner that this friend held onto the alcohol. The difference . . . mine was more a relationship and a mode of operation . . . not mainstream in the least – but still addictions in their own right. What some would perceive as ‘normal’, I have recognized as areas that ultimately hold me back – never to the extreme . . . but enough to recognize the subtle damages over TIME.
In the very manner my friend is having to follow – the 12 steps to recovery - I have vowed to do the same with these areas in my own life – the first one being the admission that I am not going to allow these additions to go on.
So, to the many who want to dig a little deeper to find the root of their existing problems, know this – among what might be a huge pile of negative debris from the years lived before, I can promise you that there will ALSO be a beautiful TREASURE that will be WORTH holding onto. I pray that you gain strength to release the things that are holding you back and also endurance to sustain you when you need to reach out as that brass ring is presented before you.
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous.[8]
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
‘Bi-Polar . . .’
A recent article caught my eye. The headline: ‘Bipolar disorder in Children: A new look’
The reason it caught my eye . . . I am a product of bi-polar genes. I say that with caution because the proverbial ‘THEY’ have not proven that there is a gene for this and currently there is no blood or brain imaging test to prove anything – only that of diagnosis based on symptoms and family history. See, growing up, my mother struggled with this disorder and her father before her, much the same. As I grew up, because it was in our ‘genes’, my father was always on watch to make sure we four children showed no signs of the illness.
As adolescence came into the picture, I began doing my own research on how hormones play a key role in emotions, etc. and I stayed alert to the many changes within myself. I recognized that if I did not stay IN CONTROL of my SELF, I could eventually cave to it’s control . . . I chose to rise above it and stand guard to it which often left me open to receiving ridicule for being too ‘strict’ with myself. My friends could not understand why I didn’t allow myself to party more. I thickened my skin to this peer pressure and lived the only way I knew to SUSTAIN ME.
Further into my adult-life, while I had worked so hard to stave off particular habits that would weaken me, I began to recognized other areas that I did not stand guard against and began to see signs in me that were clearly symptomatic of this disease.
In the same manner that one has to guard a FORTRESS, we have to stand guard for our SELVES. There were weaknesses that I had developed over the course of my life-time and BECAUSE I ignored those soft-spots, I easily allow ENTRY to the many enemies that wanted to attack. WHEN I was rebounding from giving birth, my resistance was much lower – my hormones were OFF-Balance and I would often surrender to the negative emotions that sleep deprecation brings on.
I was against taking any medication in the beginning – from my stance, that would be ‘admitting’ I was a failure. I thank God for sending me a friend with SOUND advice. She pointed out that in the same manner that a HEART PATIENT had to take medicine to keep their heart pumping after an attack, this patient would have to use the ‘band aide’ of the medicine WHILE they ate right and exercised to STRENGTHEN their heart. She reminded me that eventually, WHEN the heart was strong enough on it’s own – this patient might be able to go off the actual medicine that STABALIZED them.
Because of this, I did take that advice and was grateful for the band aide while I needed it.
During that time, I PURPOSED myself to grow stronger and rebuild – my physical health (lost weight, became more active, cut back on negative foods, made sure I got plenty of rest – but not too much), my emotional health (gave up negative behaviors, etc.) and most importantly I REBUILT my spiritual health (my fortress using GOD as my foundation).
A few short years later, another friend of mine gave me SOUND ADVICE that the ‘BAND AIDE’ was ONLY good for the short time it served it’s purpose and now that I was strong enough, that band aide was, in effect, KEEPING ME from HEALING ALL THE WAY. So with much prayer, and under the supervision of my doctor, I took his advice and WEENED myself OFF of the meds.
Like all things different, I struggled a bit to find BALANCE in my new skin but I can say in all honesty that I am a few years into this new REBUILD and I can tell you that I have been able to WEATHER some rough waters over the course of these last few years and I have remained STRONGER than ever before.
So, now, I sit hear reading many headlines and hear of the staggering rates of diagnosis and it makes me look a little harder to UNCOVER the TRUTHS of these illnesses. See, I have three children of my own and I will FOREVER stand guard to the attacks that come their way. I will forever be aware – of the ever-present THREAT that will always hover over my family lineage – a threat that will ONLY become real if I ALLOW it to take form.
Like all things, I went to the WORD itself to find the beginning of truth.
BI-POLAR:
1 : having or involving the use of two poles
2 of a neuron : having an efferent and an afferent process
Basically we have two sides of an IMPULSE – one pulls towards and one pulls away. An IMPULSE is any SUDDEN, involuntary inclination prompting to ACTION.
IN LIFE, we will always have two choices – to go TO the thing that is POSITIVE and GIVES STRENGTH . . . or to run AWAY from it. Our actions reflect accordingly.
When we ALIGN with the positive – it gives us STRENGTH, endurance – producing a positive action.
When we ALIGN with the negative – it removes our strength, it weakens our endurance – producing a negative action.
When we BOUNCE from positive to negative, we DISPLAY SPORATIC behaviors . . . in essence we are double-minded. All the GOOD is counter-acted by the presence of the bad and we end up having a reputation of DISORDER.
Medicines are often used to LIMIT our abilities to bounce from one extreme to the other.
In the same manner, BOUNDARIES keep us from bouncing from one pole to the next. When I SEE my children acting in extreme behaviors, I REMIND myself that they are just in need of BOUNDARIES . . . of POSITIVE reinforcements. I pray and then act accordingly and in a short time, they settle their behavior and the disorder is gone. This PRACTICE keeps me from obsessing over the perceived family curse.
In today’s world where DIAGNOSIS and CAUSES are more prevalent than actual CURES and FIXES, it is my prayer that we would ALL be mindful of necessary BOUNDARIES to keep us safe from ever increasing DISORDERS.
Keep digging . . .
The reason it caught my eye . . . I am a product of bi-polar genes. I say that with caution because the proverbial ‘THEY’ have not proven that there is a gene for this and currently there is no blood or brain imaging test to prove anything – only that of diagnosis based on symptoms and family history. See, growing up, my mother struggled with this disorder and her father before her, much the same. As I grew up, because it was in our ‘genes’, my father was always on watch to make sure we four children showed no signs of the illness.
As adolescence came into the picture, I began doing my own research on how hormones play a key role in emotions, etc. and I stayed alert to the many changes within myself. I recognized that if I did not stay IN CONTROL of my SELF, I could eventually cave to it’s control . . . I chose to rise above it and stand guard to it which often left me open to receiving ridicule for being too ‘strict’ with myself. My friends could not understand why I didn’t allow myself to party more. I thickened my skin to this peer pressure and lived the only way I knew to SUSTAIN ME.
Further into my adult-life, while I had worked so hard to stave off particular habits that would weaken me, I began to recognized other areas that I did not stand guard against and began to see signs in me that were clearly symptomatic of this disease.
In the same manner that one has to guard a FORTRESS, we have to stand guard for our SELVES. There were weaknesses that I had developed over the course of my life-time and BECAUSE I ignored those soft-spots, I easily allow ENTRY to the many enemies that wanted to attack. WHEN I was rebounding from giving birth, my resistance was much lower – my hormones were OFF-Balance and I would often surrender to the negative emotions that sleep deprecation brings on.
I was against taking any medication in the beginning – from my stance, that would be ‘admitting’ I was a failure. I thank God for sending me a friend with SOUND advice. She pointed out that in the same manner that a HEART PATIENT had to take medicine to keep their heart pumping after an attack, this patient would have to use the ‘band aide’ of the medicine WHILE they ate right and exercised to STRENGTHEN their heart. She reminded me that eventually, WHEN the heart was strong enough on it’s own – this patient might be able to go off the actual medicine that STABALIZED them.
Because of this, I did take that advice and was grateful for the band aide while I needed it.
During that time, I PURPOSED myself to grow stronger and rebuild – my physical health (lost weight, became more active, cut back on negative foods, made sure I got plenty of rest – but not too much), my emotional health (gave up negative behaviors, etc.) and most importantly I REBUILT my spiritual health (my fortress using GOD as my foundation).
A few short years later, another friend of mine gave me SOUND ADVICE that the ‘BAND AIDE’ was ONLY good for the short time it served it’s purpose and now that I was strong enough, that band aide was, in effect, KEEPING ME from HEALING ALL THE WAY. So with much prayer, and under the supervision of my doctor, I took his advice and WEENED myself OFF of the meds.
Like all things different, I struggled a bit to find BALANCE in my new skin but I can say in all honesty that I am a few years into this new REBUILD and I can tell you that I have been able to WEATHER some rough waters over the course of these last few years and I have remained STRONGER than ever before.
So, now, I sit hear reading many headlines and hear of the staggering rates of diagnosis and it makes me look a little harder to UNCOVER the TRUTHS of these illnesses. See, I have three children of my own and I will FOREVER stand guard to the attacks that come their way. I will forever be aware – of the ever-present THREAT that will always hover over my family lineage – a threat that will ONLY become real if I ALLOW it to take form.
Like all things, I went to the WORD itself to find the beginning of truth.
BI-POLAR:
1 : having or involving the use of two poles
2 of a neuron : having an efferent and an afferent process
Basically we have two sides of an IMPULSE – one pulls towards and one pulls away. An IMPULSE is any SUDDEN, involuntary inclination prompting to ACTION.
IN LIFE, we will always have two choices – to go TO the thing that is POSITIVE and GIVES STRENGTH . . . or to run AWAY from it. Our actions reflect accordingly.
When we ALIGN with the positive – it gives us STRENGTH, endurance – producing a positive action.
When we ALIGN with the negative – it removes our strength, it weakens our endurance – producing a negative action.
When we BOUNCE from positive to negative, we DISPLAY SPORATIC behaviors . . . in essence we are double-minded. All the GOOD is counter-acted by the presence of the bad and we end up having a reputation of DISORDER.
Medicines are often used to LIMIT our abilities to bounce from one extreme to the other.
In the same manner, BOUNDARIES keep us from bouncing from one pole to the next. When I SEE my children acting in extreme behaviors, I REMIND myself that they are just in need of BOUNDARIES . . . of POSITIVE reinforcements. I pray and then act accordingly and in a short time, they settle their behavior and the disorder is gone. This PRACTICE keeps me from obsessing over the perceived family curse.
In today’s world where DIAGNOSIS and CAUSES are more prevalent than actual CURES and FIXES, it is my prayer that we would ALL be mindful of necessary BOUNDARIES to keep us safe from ever increasing DISORDERS.
Keep digging . . .
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
‘A R T . . .’
The Class.
The Teacher.
The Grade.
The FUTURE.
The ART CLASS:
A class in which you learn ART
ART –
(7.) the principles or methods governing any craft or branch of learning: the art of baking; the art of selling . . . The Art of LOVE . . . THE ART OF WAR!
There is an ART to doing all things . . . ART is not about pretty pictures . . . . it’s about LIFE.
What you end up doing with it . . . can be ultimately beautiful . . . breath-taking . . .
FACTS:
In ART, one must learn TECHNIQUES.
In ART, the ART is based on the EYE of the Beholder.
LEARN the techniques . . . but MAKE THEM YOUR OWN.
The TEACHER:
There will be many in one’s lifetime – Some will teach what TO DO . . . others are there to teach what NOT TO DO.
See them for what they are and figure out how to interpret the lesson.
The GRADE:
Grades only count on PAPER.
SCORES only count to people keeping score.
Know this – While ONE does not live by someone else’s grade – the WORLD always keeps score. Figure out a way to REMAIN in the GAME . . . but do not allow someone’s score card to dictate one’s own worth.
The FUTURE:
WHEN does one stop learning? If one spends all their time trying to just GET OUT of class, one will never appreciate the journey of LEARNING.
There is an ART to doing ALL THINGS . . . figure out how to stay IN CLASS.
The Teacher.
The Grade.
The FUTURE.
The ART CLASS:
A class in which you learn ART
ART –
(7.) the principles or methods governing any craft or branch of learning: the art of baking; the art of selling . . . The Art of LOVE . . . THE ART OF WAR!
There is an ART to doing all things . . . ART is not about pretty pictures . . . . it’s about LIFE.
What you end up doing with it . . . can be ultimately beautiful . . . breath-taking . . .
FACTS:
In ART, one must learn TECHNIQUES.
In ART, the ART is based on the EYE of the Beholder.
LEARN the techniques . . . but MAKE THEM YOUR OWN.
The TEACHER:
There will be many in one’s lifetime – Some will teach what TO DO . . . others are there to teach what NOT TO DO.
See them for what they are and figure out how to interpret the lesson.
The GRADE:
Grades only count on PAPER.
SCORES only count to people keeping score.
Know this – While ONE does not live by someone else’s grade – the WORLD always keeps score. Figure out a way to REMAIN in the GAME . . . but do not allow someone’s score card to dictate one’s own worth.
The FUTURE:
WHEN does one stop learning? If one spends all their time trying to just GET OUT of class, one will never appreciate the journey of LEARNING.
There is an ART to doing ALL THINGS . . . figure out how to stay IN CLASS.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
‘TV Reality Shows . . . Nothing New under the Sun’
Ecclesiastes 1: 9 ' . . . so there is nothing new under the sun.'
By now, I don’t believe there’s a person out there who doesn’t recognize the name of the very famous TV show ‘Survivor’. One internet search claims that it ‘launched a cultural phenomenon’ – that is to say that it is claimed to be the BEGINNING of an extraordinary example of the accepted values of a society (well, if you put all those definitions together).
The premise of 'Survivor':
Basically, 16 strangers are REMOVED from the comforts of their everyday life to ENDURE hardships – hardships that ultimately make them STRONGER PEOPLE - for a period of time (oddly enough almost 40 days), risking JUDGEMENT in an effort to RECEIVE the coveted REWARD at the end of their ‘MISSION’ Trip.
Jesus says to give up the comforts of our life and endure hardships for a time (ultimately refining us) in order to have life and life more abundantly.
Another one . . . 'the Amazing Race’.
The Premise of this show:
Basically, a group of 11 people are to PARTNER with one (who will help them) as they are WILLINGLY manipulated through a series of journeys which have them leaving behind the comforts of their life to SEEK CLUES and greater understanding of the PATH they are to take in an effort to receive the coveted REWARD at the end of their ‘mission’ trip.
Paul says in Hebrews 12: ‘ . . . to run with endurance, the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus . . .’
Another one . . . “Extreme Makeover Home Edition”
The premise of this show:
This one’s a bit different – a take on helping the home-LESS where one deserving family has their DISTRAUGHT home LEVELED, and another amazing home is built with the finest ingredients by the hands of MASTER CARPENTERS . . . all done in seven (7) days.
In all cases – and trust me when I say that I could name many more – but, in all cases – the program viewer SITS on the sidelines week after week for the duration of the show and literally WATCHES as others actively participate in the desired mission. Many cheer on favorite contestants and most CRY several times during the course of ‘Makeover’, many of us just needing to ‘FEEL’ again.
ALL the contestants – not just the winners – usually GAIN so much for merely having experienced the mission.
Many who engage in these shows regularly, do so to simply be a PART of something BIGGER than themselves – bigger than their everyday routine allows.
OH . . . if only they knew . . .
My prayer is that you will CHOOSE to get into the REAL game of life . . . look a little deeper . . . seek a little further . . .
By now, I don’t believe there’s a person out there who doesn’t recognize the name of the very famous TV show ‘Survivor’. One internet search claims that it ‘launched a cultural phenomenon’ – that is to say that it is claimed to be the BEGINNING of an extraordinary example of the accepted values of a society (well, if you put all those definitions together).
The premise of 'Survivor':
Basically, 16 strangers are REMOVED from the comforts of their everyday life to ENDURE hardships – hardships that ultimately make them STRONGER PEOPLE - for a period of time (oddly enough almost 40 days), risking JUDGEMENT in an effort to RECEIVE the coveted REWARD at the end of their ‘MISSION’ Trip.
Jesus says to give up the comforts of our life and endure hardships for a time (ultimately refining us) in order to have life and life more abundantly.
Another one . . . 'the Amazing Race’.
The Premise of this show:
Basically, a group of 11 people are to PARTNER with one (who will help them) as they are WILLINGLY manipulated through a series of journeys which have them leaving behind the comforts of their life to SEEK CLUES and greater understanding of the PATH they are to take in an effort to receive the coveted REWARD at the end of their ‘mission’ trip.
Paul says in Hebrews 12: ‘ . . . to run with endurance, the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus . . .’
Another one . . . “Extreme Makeover Home Edition”
The premise of this show:
This one’s a bit different – a take on helping the home-LESS where one deserving family has their DISTRAUGHT home LEVELED, and another amazing home is built with the finest ingredients by the hands of MASTER CARPENTERS . . . all done in seven (7) days.
In all cases – and trust me when I say that I could name many more – but, in all cases – the program viewer SITS on the sidelines week after week for the duration of the show and literally WATCHES as others actively participate in the desired mission. Many cheer on favorite contestants and most CRY several times during the course of ‘Makeover’, many of us just needing to ‘FEEL’ again.
ALL the contestants – not just the winners – usually GAIN so much for merely having experienced the mission.
Many who engage in these shows regularly, do so to simply be a PART of something BIGGER than themselves – bigger than their everyday routine allows.
OH . . . if only they knew . . .
My prayer is that you will CHOOSE to get into the REAL game of life . . . look a little deeper . . . seek a little further . . .
Sunday, April 6, 2008
‘Chasing a Good Name . . .’
I often see many insights in movies . . . what can I say, I dig movies – great escapes that ultimately bring me back to a more insightful reality.
I have referred to the movie, ‘Sommersby’ a few times now. Richard Gere plays the character of one man who actually (because they could have been twins in appearance) steals the NAME of another man after this man’s death because his own was one of bad reputation. The GOOD in him wanted desperately to LIVE the life of that GOOD NAME.
So I began to think . . . What’s IN a name?
When I tapped into dictionary .com, I was shocked to see that there were 35 entries for this one little word – more reinforcement to what I already know – there is MORE to a name than many want to admit.
There were a few definitions that really struck me:
The Obvious:
1. a word or a combination of words by which a person, place, or thing, a body or class, or any object of thought is designated, called, or known.
We are KNOWN at first sight by something.
The Specific:
4. a reputation of a particular kind given by common opinion
We are KNOWN at first sight by something . . . and then BY COMMON OPIONION – by reputation – something GAINED after TIME, we are recognized by a more SPECIFIC classification based on our ACTIONS.
The Insight:
22. designed for or carrying a name
We are KNOWN at first sight by something . . . and then recognized by Reputation . . . BUT this reputation often grows out of something that we were actually DESIGNED to become.
We have a genetic make-up in the PHYSICAL REALM which is our body function. But we ALSO have a genetic make-up in the SPIRIT REALM – that which we were INTENDED to become.
And WHEN we live and ACT OUTSIDE of this SPIRITUAL genetic make-up – we often develop a NEGATIVE reputation . . . something we were never INTENDED to have.
In the movie, Richard Gere’s character NEEDED to BECOME the GOOD NAME that was inherently IN HIM. In the end, He was WILLING to DIE OFF in order to REMAIN the GOOD that that name carried.
~
You will not always understand what you are ‘chasing’ . . . but I can promise you that you will RECOGNIZE it WHEN you eventually ‘catch it’. . . because, like any good name, the things that ARE intended for you all along . . . WHEN you KILL OFF those things that were NEVER INTENDED to be . . . like a struggling plant that is freed from the tangle of weeds . . . it will eventually GROW YOU to good reputation . . .
Keep Chasing . . .
I have referred to the movie, ‘Sommersby’ a few times now. Richard Gere plays the character of one man who actually (because they could have been twins in appearance) steals the NAME of another man after this man’s death because his own was one of bad reputation. The GOOD in him wanted desperately to LIVE the life of that GOOD NAME.
So I began to think . . . What’s IN a name?
When I tapped into dictionary .com, I was shocked to see that there were 35 entries for this one little word – more reinforcement to what I already know – there is MORE to a name than many want to admit.
There were a few definitions that really struck me:
The Obvious:
1. a word or a combination of words by which a person, place, or thing, a body or class, or any object of thought is designated, called, or known.
We are KNOWN at first sight by something.
The Specific:
4. a reputation of a particular kind given by common opinion
We are KNOWN at first sight by something . . . and then BY COMMON OPIONION – by reputation – something GAINED after TIME, we are recognized by a more SPECIFIC classification based on our ACTIONS.
The Insight:
22. designed for or carrying a name
We are KNOWN at first sight by something . . . and then recognized by Reputation . . . BUT this reputation often grows out of something that we were actually DESIGNED to become.
We have a genetic make-up in the PHYSICAL REALM which is our body function. But we ALSO have a genetic make-up in the SPIRIT REALM – that which we were INTENDED to become.
And WHEN we live and ACT OUTSIDE of this SPIRITUAL genetic make-up – we often develop a NEGATIVE reputation . . . something we were never INTENDED to have.
In the movie, Richard Gere’s character NEEDED to BECOME the GOOD NAME that was inherently IN HIM. In the end, He was WILLING to DIE OFF in order to REMAIN the GOOD that that name carried.
~
You will not always understand what you are ‘chasing’ . . . but I can promise you that you will RECOGNIZE it WHEN you eventually ‘catch it’. . . because, like any good name, the things that ARE intended for you all along . . . WHEN you KILL OFF those things that were NEVER INTENDED to be . . . like a struggling plant that is freed from the tangle of weeds . . . it will eventually GROW YOU to good reputation . . .
Keep Chasing . . .
Sunday, March 30, 2008
‘SHIPWRECKED’
Ever hear the story of the shipwrecked man?
A man finds himself stranded on an island, shipwrecked and he prays to God to rescue him. Days go by and he continues to pray. Finally an odd little ship, humble in it’s appearance, stops and the unlikely captain says, “Need help?” – “No thanks”, replies the man, “God will rescue me”. So off sails the little odd boat and many more days of praying go by. Finally another boat, little larger and more normal in appearance stops on the island, “Looks like we came just in time – hop on board” says the captain and the first mate. “No thanks”, replies the man, “God will rescue me in a very special way”. So off goes the second boat . . . and so on and so on. Soon, the man perishes and finds himself before God when he asks, “WHY did you not rescue me, I prayed earnestly and you did not come?” After a long sigh, God replies, “I sent many to rescue you . . . but you ignored them all because they didn’t come in a manner that YOU wanted or expected.”
COMFORT vs. CHANGE
All too often I find that people would RATHER stay shipwrecked . . . sadly, it’s the easier choice . . .
COMFORT vs. CHANGE
All too often I find that people would RATHER stay shipwrecked . . . sadly, it’s the easier choice . . .
Saturday, March 29, 2008
‘Russian Roulette’
Today, I am deeply saddened by the news of a friend that had been in a terrible auto accident. She was returning home from work this past Wednesday when she was in this horrible accident that left her with major head trauma . . . and within just days, she has passed away. She leaves behind a husband and three daughters.
While I know deep down, this is not the case, I feel sometimes there is a larger than life game of Russian Roulette being played. I sit here and think of all the times I have been so careless behind the wheel – putting my head down to look for something, taking that call and trying to drink my coffee at the same time, breaking up a fight between my kids where I peer in the review mirror to give that “you’ve pushed me to the limit” glare – all the while driving at regular speeds. I am fully aware that on several occasions, the Good Lord has spared me from my stupidity.
I am betting that this friend played by the rules. I am betting that this friend was driving appropriately.
So it makes me wonder . . . WHY?
Why does the ONE have to go while the IDIOT still stands?
I sit here tonight, quite shaken from this news . . . these last few weeks have been quite heavy with the passing of another great woman in my life – a woman who was blessed to have a long life – and many other stories of courageous health battles, etc… I sit here and feel a little bit like I did after 911 – when I realized my sense of ‘security’ had been stolen.
I sit here and think when is that bullet gonna hit me? Just how many times have I put that gun to my head as I spin the barrel of carelessness?
Many . . . including myself, will often share sympathetic words like, “there’s got to be a reason for all things . . . “ If this reason is partially to help ME realize something, I am truly sorry to the family of this friend. I hope you all realize just how great she was and just how much her passing will forever remind me to be more responsible behind the wheel – to appreciate every moment as if it truly is our last.
We will miss you Janet ~ 3/29/08
While I know deep down, this is not the case, I feel sometimes there is a larger than life game of Russian Roulette being played. I sit here and think of all the times I have been so careless behind the wheel – putting my head down to look for something, taking that call and trying to drink my coffee at the same time, breaking up a fight between my kids where I peer in the review mirror to give that “you’ve pushed me to the limit” glare – all the while driving at regular speeds. I am fully aware that on several occasions, the Good Lord has spared me from my stupidity.
I am betting that this friend played by the rules. I am betting that this friend was driving appropriately.
So it makes me wonder . . . WHY?
Why does the ONE have to go while the IDIOT still stands?
I sit here tonight, quite shaken from this news . . . these last few weeks have been quite heavy with the passing of another great woman in my life – a woman who was blessed to have a long life – and many other stories of courageous health battles, etc… I sit here and feel a little bit like I did after 911 – when I realized my sense of ‘security’ had been stolen.
I sit here and think when is that bullet gonna hit me? Just how many times have I put that gun to my head as I spin the barrel of carelessness?
Many . . . including myself, will often share sympathetic words like, “there’s got to be a reason for all things . . . “ If this reason is partially to help ME realize something, I am truly sorry to the family of this friend. I hope you all realize just how great she was and just how much her passing will forever remind me to be more responsible behind the wheel – to appreciate every moment as if it truly is our last.
We will miss you Janet ~ 3/29/08
Friday, March 21, 2008
‘Loosing Seasons often bring out the WIN’
I’ve written about my kids lately . . . much can be revealed through viewing their young lives . . . poignant passages to our own live in so many ways.
Recently my eldest son wrapped up his basketball season – a tough season as they closed with only two ‘official’ wins on the books. I reference – official – because while this may be etched in the official books, they have actually had so many more winning games in spirit. They played their hearts out. Theirs was a season that started quite awkward – so many new players to this team. While many had played before, and quite well I might add, this was the first time many played together. Anyone even the least bit familiar with sports knows how crucial TEAM compatibility is to having a winning season. Very much in the manner of the young newlyweds, that first season can bring pure joy or bring much anxiety depending on the way things come together.
The Head Coach was a drill sergeant of sorts and many a practice had the boys almost falling over. He got a bad wrap in the beginning for his overly aggressive personality and his quick temper. Had I only seen this side of him, I would have been quite disappointed and tempted to remove my son from the game. I am not soft – but it appeared that he was the negative that kept these boys down. What I soon discovered (from attending the many practices) was that he truly did care for these boys – he earnestly wanted them to succeed . . . so much so that he gave them quite a talk during the wrap of their last practice. He admitted to them that they had made many mistakes – but that he, too, had made many. He wanted them to know that while the season appeared to be pretty crappy, he was extremely proud of their performance – that he had never seen a team IMPROVE so much in the shortest time and he was hoping that it would end up being the ONE SEASON that DEFINED their remaining seasons. He shared that he had only had two loosing seasons in the past – one as a player and one as a coach. He shared that it was those times that MADE him what he was today. He admitted that he slipped this season – that he became aware of many things from this season – many things that he would not soon forget . . . another loosing season that would define him.
This struck a pretty tight chord with me as I have recently walked through what many would view as loosing seasons. Sometimes, life tosses us in with the toughest team players and while we fight like hell to win that game, the final score ultimately reveals a LOSS. In the beginning, when my stamina was quite low, I would have hung my head, allowing myself to get taken down by the official record of society's stat book. But, somewhere along the way, I started recognizing that the official records ONLY matter to those KEEPING SCORE.
I started to recognize the Seeker that I was, the Fighter that I had become and the ultimate Winner I was meant to be.
I honestly don't believe that I would have realized this had I NOT played in those Loosing Seasons . . . for they truly were the times that defined what my character is to this day.
So, to the many who walk through the disappointments of Life’s Loosing Seasons, my hope is that you will lift your head to see the UNOFFICIAL WIN . . . the win that will end up meaning the most in the long run.
Keep playing the game . . .
Recently my eldest son wrapped up his basketball season – a tough season as they closed with only two ‘official’ wins on the books. I reference – official – because while this may be etched in the official books, they have actually had so many more winning games in spirit. They played their hearts out. Theirs was a season that started quite awkward – so many new players to this team. While many had played before, and quite well I might add, this was the first time many played together. Anyone even the least bit familiar with sports knows how crucial TEAM compatibility is to having a winning season. Very much in the manner of the young newlyweds, that first season can bring pure joy or bring much anxiety depending on the way things come together.
The Head Coach was a drill sergeant of sorts and many a practice had the boys almost falling over. He got a bad wrap in the beginning for his overly aggressive personality and his quick temper. Had I only seen this side of him, I would have been quite disappointed and tempted to remove my son from the game. I am not soft – but it appeared that he was the negative that kept these boys down. What I soon discovered (from attending the many practices) was that he truly did care for these boys – he earnestly wanted them to succeed . . . so much so that he gave them quite a talk during the wrap of their last practice. He admitted to them that they had made many mistakes – but that he, too, had made many. He wanted them to know that while the season appeared to be pretty crappy, he was extremely proud of their performance – that he had never seen a team IMPROVE so much in the shortest time and he was hoping that it would end up being the ONE SEASON that DEFINED their remaining seasons. He shared that he had only had two loosing seasons in the past – one as a player and one as a coach. He shared that it was those times that MADE him what he was today. He admitted that he slipped this season – that he became aware of many things from this season – many things that he would not soon forget . . . another loosing season that would define him.
This struck a pretty tight chord with me as I have recently walked through what many would view as loosing seasons. Sometimes, life tosses us in with the toughest team players and while we fight like hell to win that game, the final score ultimately reveals a LOSS. In the beginning, when my stamina was quite low, I would have hung my head, allowing myself to get taken down by the official record of society's stat book. But, somewhere along the way, I started recognizing that the official records ONLY matter to those KEEPING SCORE.
I started to recognize the Seeker that I was, the Fighter that I had become and the ultimate Winner I was meant to be.
I honestly don't believe that I would have realized this had I NOT played in those Loosing Seasons . . . for they truly were the times that defined what my character is to this day.
So, to the many who walk through the disappointments of Life’s Loosing Seasons, my hope is that you will lift your head to see the UNOFFICIAL WIN . . . the win that will end up meaning the most in the long run.
Keep playing the game . . .
Saturday, March 8, 2008
'Patience'
PATIENCE is the darndest thing . . .
A friend of mine shared, rather humorously (I’m trying to get her to blog!), a moment from her day and a confession of sorts about the events that tested her patience. As always, the dig started, I replied and this is what was shared:
Friend:
I honestly think God was trying to teach me patience today in leaps and bounds. I head out to go to the post office and get stuck by the loooooooooonest, slooooooooooowest train. Then I stopped by Jewel to get us some more creamer for the office. So I figured I'd pick me up some Tostidos, Cheese and fresh salsa from the deli for my lunch. There were 2 people ahead of me and 2 deli clerks. Thought, ah, that's not bad. Shouldn't be that long of a wait. Of course both people were getting enough cold cuts, cheese and salads for a giant party it seemed. And even worse, this goof ball guy (as cute as he was) gets the last of the salsa. I almost kicked him in the knee........... hey dude, that was for my lunch! And I know from past experience when I was the one to get the last of it (didn't quite fill my container) that what they have in the deli case is all they have. Needless to say, I walked away frustrated. Then I got get my nasal spray and the creamer and head to the Osco counter to pay. Of course the cashier is at the other end working on the picture developer. I'm like.... helllllllllo, you have a customer. Finally she comes. Then I get to the post office and head in. Of course there's the tiniest, most adorable but painfully sloooooooooooooooow little old lady in her cute black slacks, bright pink jacket and matching hat. She's doing to Tim Conway shuffle. I didn't want to disrespect her and go speeding around her, so I just shuffled behind her. Then I stop and get gas on the way back. 29 freaking dollars! Well, there goes another paycheck. Steadily prodding along trying to get back to work before the 11:00 whistle blows and (our scale-guy) turns into a pumpkin I get stuck by yet another slooooooooooooooooooooow, looooooooooooooooooooong train. Son of a gun!!! And then last but not least I get stuck behind the sweeper truck. Ok God, I have patience already...... cut me some slack here.
My reply:
Darlin - you should be a writer - a true gift you have (you really don't realize how great you are - do you?) Almost pee’d my pants with your descriptions.
PATIENCE is the darndest thing - yes, you and Chava really do have it (patience) better than anyone I know (I long to take your example) - but often times it's tested NOT to see if you have it - but to KEEP you APPLYING it so it does not harden. The VIRTUE has to be WORKED regularly for it to be in PRIME SHAPE. Make sense?
ALSO - Take a minute and think back on ALL those that crossed your paths during that time. Had it not been YOU - someone might have knocked that little ol, well-dressed gal down. Had it not been YOU, some counter gal might have gotten chewed out - Had it not been for those two people in front of you - especially that guy who took all the salsa - it might have been YOU that ended up with a stomach ache because I'm betting that salsa was not good!
PROVISIONS are made in ALL ways . . . you just have to be willing to SEE IT.
Well done, good friend.
Remember: When you pray for patience, you will not be given the virture but rather EVERY OPPORTUNITY to GROW the virture . . . when you have the virture, you will be given the opportunities to continue to APPLY that virture.
Keep seeking . . .
A friend of mine shared, rather humorously (I’m trying to get her to blog!), a moment from her day and a confession of sorts about the events that tested her patience. As always, the dig started, I replied and this is what was shared:
Friend:
I honestly think God was trying to teach me patience today in leaps and bounds. I head out to go to the post office and get stuck by the loooooooooonest, slooooooooooowest train. Then I stopped by Jewel to get us some more creamer for the office. So I figured I'd pick me up some Tostidos, Cheese and fresh salsa from the deli for my lunch. There were 2 people ahead of me and 2 deli clerks. Thought, ah, that's not bad. Shouldn't be that long of a wait. Of course both people were getting enough cold cuts, cheese and salads for a giant party it seemed. And even worse, this goof ball guy (as cute as he was) gets the last of the salsa. I almost kicked him in the knee........... hey dude, that was for my lunch! And I know from past experience when I was the one to get the last of it (didn't quite fill my container) that what they have in the deli case is all they have. Needless to say, I walked away frustrated. Then I got get my nasal spray and the creamer and head to the Osco counter to pay. Of course the cashier is at the other end working on the picture developer. I'm like.... helllllllllo, you have a customer. Finally she comes. Then I get to the post office and head in. Of course there's the tiniest, most adorable but painfully sloooooooooooooooow little old lady in her cute black slacks, bright pink jacket and matching hat. She's doing to Tim Conway shuffle. I didn't want to disrespect her and go speeding around her, so I just shuffled behind her. Then I stop and get gas on the way back. 29 freaking dollars! Well, there goes another paycheck. Steadily prodding along trying to get back to work before the 11:00 whistle blows and (our scale-guy) turns into a pumpkin I get stuck by yet another slooooooooooooooooooooow, looooooooooooooooooooong train. Son of a gun!!! And then last but not least I get stuck behind the sweeper truck. Ok God, I have patience already...... cut me some slack here.
My reply:
Darlin - you should be a writer - a true gift you have (you really don't realize how great you are - do you?) Almost pee’d my pants with your descriptions.
PATIENCE is the darndest thing - yes, you and Chava really do have it (patience) better than anyone I know (I long to take your example) - but often times it's tested NOT to see if you have it - but to KEEP you APPLYING it so it does not harden. The VIRTUE has to be WORKED regularly for it to be in PRIME SHAPE. Make sense?
ALSO - Take a minute and think back on ALL those that crossed your paths during that time. Had it not been YOU - someone might have knocked that little ol, well-dressed gal down. Had it not been YOU, some counter gal might have gotten chewed out - Had it not been for those two people in front of you - especially that guy who took all the salsa - it might have been YOU that ended up with a stomach ache because I'm betting that salsa was not good!
PROVISIONS are made in ALL ways . . . you just have to be willing to SEE IT.
Well done, good friend.
Remember: When you pray for patience, you will not be given the virture but rather EVERY OPPORTUNITY to GROW the virture . . . when you have the virture, you will be given the opportunities to continue to APPLY that virture.
Keep seeking . . .
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
'Don't Cheat the Journey'
My daughter recently tried to race through some home work, not wanting to face the fact that something was throwing her a bit (most things come easy for this one and she falters when she has to try a bit harder at times). She was having to read through a chapter to find a specific adjective – something that answered the question, “What kind of?” I asked her to read aloud and noticed that she was just hunting for the answer. She was getting frustrated and she just wanted to be done. When I called her on it, asking her to tell me what the content of that part of the story was – she said she wasn’t paying attention because she just wanted to get through.
I took pause for a moment as I realized that my daughter is very much her mother when I was that age, for this was how I used to live most of my younger days – racing through to get to the end so that I could be on to the next thing. When I was young, I wanted to be older, when I started a project, I wanted to rush past the important steps to get to the fun parts – when I was in sports I wanted the games and none of the practices . . . when a problem came my way, I just wanted to fix it so I could move beyond the discomfort of the situation.
As I got older and life set in a bit, I began to realize that while finding a quick solution may be necessary for some things, it’s not always the right answer for every problem. What I found in trying to operate in this mode was that more than not, the very thing that I thought was the answer often became the source of more questions. Because having an answer is one thing – UNDERTANDING the answer is something all together different.
I told my daughter to go back and re-read - slowly - so that she could SEE what she was looking for. Along the way, she discovered that the story she sped through before was actually interesting. She spent a little more time and began to understood the characters, how the story was unfolding and all of a sudden, she stumbled upon the answer. She actually saw it quite easily and she had peace because she wasn’t so bent on the mission. She actually enjoyed the journey of discovering the answer.
I have found that life is very much like this. When I try too hard to get to where I think I need to be, I miss out on discovering the details of the journey. I miss out on the unfolding of my character – on what I can become as I walk along the journey. I’ve discovered that short-cuts, even in heavy traffic can end up taking much longer then the orchestrated route.
Stay on course and don’t cheat your journey . . .
I took pause for a moment as I realized that my daughter is very much her mother when I was that age, for this was how I used to live most of my younger days – racing through to get to the end so that I could be on to the next thing. When I was young, I wanted to be older, when I started a project, I wanted to rush past the important steps to get to the fun parts – when I was in sports I wanted the games and none of the practices . . . when a problem came my way, I just wanted to fix it so I could move beyond the discomfort of the situation.
As I got older and life set in a bit, I began to realize that while finding a quick solution may be necessary for some things, it’s not always the right answer for every problem. What I found in trying to operate in this mode was that more than not, the very thing that I thought was the answer often became the source of more questions. Because having an answer is one thing – UNDERTANDING the answer is something all together different.
I told my daughter to go back and re-read - slowly - so that she could SEE what she was looking for. Along the way, she discovered that the story she sped through before was actually interesting. She spent a little more time and began to understood the characters, how the story was unfolding and all of a sudden, she stumbled upon the answer. She actually saw it quite easily and she had peace because she wasn’t so bent on the mission. She actually enjoyed the journey of discovering the answer.
I have found that life is very much like this. When I try too hard to get to where I think I need to be, I miss out on discovering the details of the journey. I miss out on the unfolding of my character – on what I can become as I walk along the journey. I’ve discovered that short-cuts, even in heavy traffic can end up taking much longer then the orchestrated route.
Stay on course and don’t cheat your journey . . .
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
‘To be or not to be . . . the Groundhog'
Two amazing fellow bloggers have recently posted entries that mentioned February and it’s character leader, the Groundhog. One even went as far as to add a definition for the groundhog and you all know how I love those definitions. I’ll have to be honest, up until I saw this entry, the only times I fondly thought about that little guy was in remembering that I had many friends who worked on the making of that movie “Groundhog Day” including a friend who is actually in one of the scenes. And more fondly still was when my first son was about 2- 2 ½ years old and on the way to his grandmother’s house we saw a groundhog. Try as he might to say the name of that animal, it would always come out as “hound-grog” – had me in tears then . . . still gets me going when I think of it today.
Anyway, I was looking at that definition again . . .
From Wikipedia:
"Groundhog Day or Groundhog's Day is a holiday celebrated United States and Canada on February 2nd. In weather lore, if a ground hog, also known as a woodchuck, marmot or ground squirrel, emerges from its burrow on this day and fails to see its shadow because the weather is cloudy, winter will soon end. If the groundhog sees its shadow, it will return into its burrow, and the winter will continue for 6 more weeks."
. . . and something hit me.
If you’ll notice – it’s never the people that scare the groundhog . . . it’s the shadow of himself that does him in.
We are oftentimes very much like the groundhog in so many ways. We get spooked by our own shadow – the demons we allow ourselves to hold on to – those vices that we all know we have. We allow them to take up residence within us and even on our supposed best days, they sneak up on us and scare the hell out of us, making us scamper back into our protective holes ultimately giving authority to the unending dreariness of our heart’s winter.
Oh to be the groundhog who alludes his oppressive shadow. Oh to give way to the birth of new things as we allow Spring to grace our hearts in a more timely manner.
Any good farmer knows that the only thing a hole is good for is for planting seeds of hope.
Hope for a good harvest.
Hope for what is still to come.
Here’s to climbing out of that hole and looking the other way . . .
Anyway, I was looking at that definition again . . .
From Wikipedia:
"Groundhog Day or Groundhog's Day is a holiday celebrated United States and Canada on February 2nd. In weather lore, if a ground hog, also known as a woodchuck, marmot or ground squirrel, emerges from its burrow on this day and fails to see its shadow because the weather is cloudy, winter will soon end. If the groundhog sees its shadow, it will return into its burrow, and the winter will continue for 6 more weeks."
. . . and something hit me.
If you’ll notice – it’s never the people that scare the groundhog . . . it’s the shadow of himself that does him in.
We are oftentimes very much like the groundhog in so many ways. We get spooked by our own shadow – the demons we allow ourselves to hold on to – those vices that we all know we have. We allow them to take up residence within us and even on our supposed best days, they sneak up on us and scare the hell out of us, making us scamper back into our protective holes ultimately giving authority to the unending dreariness of our heart’s winter.
Oh to be the groundhog who alludes his oppressive shadow. Oh to give way to the birth of new things as we allow Spring to grace our hearts in a more timely manner.
Any good farmer knows that the only thing a hole is good for is for planting seeds of hope.
Hope for a good harvest.
Hope for what is still to come.
Here’s to climbing out of that hole and looking the other way . . .
Saturday, February 23, 2008
' Just a little Taste . . . '
Energy drinks . . . they’re everywhere now. My kids have friends who pound these things through the day. Did you catch that part – my kids . . . have friends who . . . These are mere teens (pre-teens actually) who feel they NEED these things to get through the day. Amazing.
Now before I begin this rant – for that is what this part will definitely be – I will admit to my own vices – I have a few that I cannot seem to shake – habits that I had started long ago that while I say that I am working on finding ways to break them, I obviously don’t WANT to give them up just yet (another insight all together). So, without wanting to give the impression of thinking that I am holier than thou – I get it – things are hard to shake.
What concerns me are the ever-increasing growing trends with these supplements. Ours is a society that spends tons of money on ways to make our lives EASY . . . then spends the remaining money on ways to ward off the effects of BEING lazy. Seriously – if you sit long enough for the commercial breaks – you will see the one ad for the robot vacuum (because WHY SHOULD YOU have to clean your home?) and then several following ads on weight control items and work-out equipment. Because our society has put themselves in such a state with horrible eating and excercise habits MANY feel as if they cannot make it through the day WITHOUT added boost. Mere CHILDREN now feel they cannot do the same and they are getting hooked on these drinks which are not good in large doses.
Do we really NOT SEE the stupidity in all this? But I digress . . . the whole point of this entry was to share how EASY it is to fall into a trap.
My son has literally been HOUNDING me, to just TRY some. There’s something I wanted to say about him at this point – that even though I know he is not perfect and will probably try other things, I was pretty impressed that he listened for the most part on this one. We went round and round one day on WHY I didn’t want him to even TRY IT.
His argument for trying – ‘But if you let me just try it, I will know and not want it anymore’.
My argument for NOT trying it – ‘But when you TASTE it – you will know what all the fuss is about and will WANT more because it’s harder to SAY NO to yourself once you’ve tried it.
When we rounded this discussion for the 20th time, I finally said – why do you think the message for not using drugs is JUST SAY NO? He said – ‘but that’s different because DRUGS are bad for you’. I said – yes but so is THIS – it’s just accepted by the public as NOT BEING BAD.
Hmmmmmmmmmm . . . . when you break something down, you know?
How many things in our life do we KNOW to be ‘NOT GOOD’ but yet we open that door – just a little . . . just a taste . . . . I can stop. I have grown to recognize what my vices are and have to honestly admit that I still allow for times when I just want to be weak. I can also admit that I know there are reasons why I shouldn’t even start and have gotten much better at recognizing what I shouldn’t even TASTE, as I recognize it to be something I know I would want to continue. Progress is a good thing.
Regarding the energy drinks with my kid – we ended by doing an experiment. I pulled into a convenient store lot and allowed my son to run in and buy one of those cans – I could see that he was just too bent on trying and wanted him to be under my supervision to discuss things. This was the progression of his experience:
Initial reaction - one of excitement: “I can?!? “
Then – doubt: “Are you sure – I won’t if you really don’t want me to”
(He returned after making the purchase but hesitates)
Reaction from purchase - Observant: “wow – this small can cost $$$$$”
Hesitation again as he cracked the can open and smells it.
Reaction - one of realization: “ wow, it smells good“
Hesitation as he sips . . .
Reaction - again one of realization: “it actually tastes good, Mom . . . “
Decision: “ I don’t really want anymore . . . “
A few minutes goes buy . . .
NEW DECISION – with another sip: ‘ It does taste good, though . . . ‘
Contemplations as he put his eyes down – almost like he didn’t want to look at me.
I asked him a few questions:
How many of these cans did you say your friend drinks during the day? (shocking answer)
How much money do you think he spends daily? (shocking answer)
How is his energy level after a few hours? (he is the most tired of all his friends)
My son realized that what appeared to be a great thing is actually the beginning of many future problems. He realized that the experience was not as grand as he had imagined it to be. And finally, he now realizes what he has to say NO to – which will be harder.
Oddly enough – the flavor that he tried . . . GREEN APPLE.
Know your limits . . .
Now before I begin this rant – for that is what this part will definitely be – I will admit to my own vices – I have a few that I cannot seem to shake – habits that I had started long ago that while I say that I am working on finding ways to break them, I obviously don’t WANT to give them up just yet (another insight all together). So, without wanting to give the impression of thinking that I am holier than thou – I get it – things are hard to shake.
What concerns me are the ever-increasing growing trends with these supplements. Ours is a society that spends tons of money on ways to make our lives EASY . . . then spends the remaining money on ways to ward off the effects of BEING lazy. Seriously – if you sit long enough for the commercial breaks – you will see the one ad for the robot vacuum (because WHY SHOULD YOU have to clean your home?) and then several following ads on weight control items and work-out equipment. Because our society has put themselves in such a state with horrible eating and excercise habits MANY feel as if they cannot make it through the day WITHOUT added boost. Mere CHILDREN now feel they cannot do the same and they are getting hooked on these drinks which are not good in large doses.
Do we really NOT SEE the stupidity in all this? But I digress . . . the whole point of this entry was to share how EASY it is to fall into a trap.
My son has literally been HOUNDING me, to just TRY some. There’s something I wanted to say about him at this point – that even though I know he is not perfect and will probably try other things, I was pretty impressed that he listened for the most part on this one. We went round and round one day on WHY I didn’t want him to even TRY IT.
His argument for trying – ‘But if you let me just try it, I will know and not want it anymore’.
My argument for NOT trying it – ‘But when you TASTE it – you will know what all the fuss is about and will WANT more because it’s harder to SAY NO to yourself once you’ve tried it.
When we rounded this discussion for the 20th time, I finally said – why do you think the message for not using drugs is JUST SAY NO? He said – ‘but that’s different because DRUGS are bad for you’. I said – yes but so is THIS – it’s just accepted by the public as NOT BEING BAD.
Hmmmmmmmmmm . . . . when you break something down, you know?
How many things in our life do we KNOW to be ‘NOT GOOD’ but yet we open that door – just a little . . . just a taste . . . . I can stop. I have grown to recognize what my vices are and have to honestly admit that I still allow for times when I just want to be weak. I can also admit that I know there are reasons why I shouldn’t even start and have gotten much better at recognizing what I shouldn’t even TASTE, as I recognize it to be something I know I would want to continue. Progress is a good thing.
Regarding the energy drinks with my kid – we ended by doing an experiment. I pulled into a convenient store lot and allowed my son to run in and buy one of those cans – I could see that he was just too bent on trying and wanted him to be under my supervision to discuss things. This was the progression of his experience:
Initial reaction - one of excitement: “I can?!? “
Then – doubt: “Are you sure – I won’t if you really don’t want me to”
(He returned after making the purchase but hesitates)
Reaction from purchase - Observant: “wow – this small can cost $$$$$”
Hesitation again as he cracked the can open and smells it.
Reaction - one of realization: “ wow, it smells good“
Hesitation as he sips . . .
Reaction - again one of realization: “it actually tastes good, Mom . . . “
Decision: “ I don’t really want anymore . . . “
A few minutes goes buy . . .
NEW DECISION – with another sip: ‘ It does taste good, though . . . ‘
Contemplations as he put his eyes down – almost like he didn’t want to look at me.
I asked him a few questions:
How many of these cans did you say your friend drinks during the day? (shocking answer)
How much money do you think he spends daily? (shocking answer)
How is his energy level after a few hours? (he is the most tired of all his friends)
My son realized that what appeared to be a great thing is actually the beginning of many future problems. He realized that the experience was not as grand as he had imagined it to be. And finally, he now realizes what he has to say NO to – which will be harder.
Oddly enough – the flavor that he tried . . . GREEN APPLE.
Know your limits . . .
Friday, February 22, 2008
‘ T R Y as you might . . . '
I believe to understand what someone is saying, one needs to remember the character of the one using the word. Truth often comes out when one speaks . . . it’s just a matter of HEARING what they are really saying.
Shortly after the breakup of my marriage, I was on a mad search to figure out what exactly went wrong. I went over many of the conversations leading up to the final decisions and I began to look into the definitions of specific words. What I started was a process I have dubbed as ‘definition surfing’ where one definition leads to further seeking of another descriptive word and so forth (true word digging, if you will). What surprised me most was that most words have MANY definitions listed – many different from my own understanding of that word . . . had I just taken a minute to see this then, perhaps I would have understood better where the mind-frame was as the time.
We often grow up understanding the meaning of something based on the definitions given to us by our parents and other influential people in our life. Most times we never take the time to look up what each word means. Because of this, we often USE words based solely on our limited understanding of them. Again, I was shocked to see the OTHER definitions of some of the key words. I could go on about this understanding alone and how it is SO critical to have a FULL understanding of things in order to effectively communicate. What I have found with the use of some words is that what often BEGINS as a positive often ends up as a negative as the chosen word becomes a veiled excuse for some.
When I was growing up, there were two words I was not allowed to use in my home: CAN’T and TRY. I definitely could not used the word Can’t and I could ONLY use the word Try if it meant that I was trying something NEW for the first time. I clearly understood the reasons behind the first but I struggled to understand the latter. After all, we are always taught to at least TRY our best in all efforts.
Later, I came across TWO others who preached adamantly against that word as they claimed it was a COP-OUT for actually ‘DOING’. In fact, one had even gone on to say that it was a very deceiving word for one who didn’t want to really DO at all. Sadly enough, in recent years - all three of those people – who so passionate preached against it, now use this word the most. All three people, who have been beacons to me over the years, now make me take great pause as I am forever disappointed by their undelivered promises . . . newly developed character traits . . .
Since the weather has all but blown, I decided to take a few and go surfing – a revisit to that word that is used most often in today’s language.
TRY - to attempt to do or accomplish.
ATTEMPT - to make an effort at
EFFORT – 1) The use of physical or mental energy to do something; exertion.
2) A difficult exertion of the strength or will.
3) A usually earnest attempt
What amuses me most about VIEWING it in this manner is that if you trail the definitions, the last one I listed actually lists a great truth (usually) – what may begin as an earnest attempt . . . starts to slide as one begins to realize the mental and physical energies that have to be spent in that effort.
Another truth - not one definition states an actual achieved accomplishment – only an attempt.
So, to the three in my life – please, do not even bother ‘trying’ . . . cuz I already know you will not . . . newly developed character traits and all . . .
Keep digging . . .
Shortly after the breakup of my marriage, I was on a mad search to figure out what exactly went wrong. I went over many of the conversations leading up to the final decisions and I began to look into the definitions of specific words. What I started was a process I have dubbed as ‘definition surfing’ where one definition leads to further seeking of another descriptive word and so forth (true word digging, if you will). What surprised me most was that most words have MANY definitions listed – many different from my own understanding of that word . . . had I just taken a minute to see this then, perhaps I would have understood better where the mind-frame was as the time.
We often grow up understanding the meaning of something based on the definitions given to us by our parents and other influential people in our life. Most times we never take the time to look up what each word means. Because of this, we often USE words based solely on our limited understanding of them. Again, I was shocked to see the OTHER definitions of some of the key words. I could go on about this understanding alone and how it is SO critical to have a FULL understanding of things in order to effectively communicate. What I have found with the use of some words is that what often BEGINS as a positive often ends up as a negative as the chosen word becomes a veiled excuse for some.
When I was growing up, there were two words I was not allowed to use in my home: CAN’T and TRY. I definitely could not used the word Can’t and I could ONLY use the word Try if it meant that I was trying something NEW for the first time. I clearly understood the reasons behind the first but I struggled to understand the latter. After all, we are always taught to at least TRY our best in all efforts.
Later, I came across TWO others who preached adamantly against that word as they claimed it was a COP-OUT for actually ‘DOING’. In fact, one had even gone on to say that it was a very deceiving word for one who didn’t want to really DO at all. Sadly enough, in recent years - all three of those people – who so passionate preached against it, now use this word the most. All three people, who have been beacons to me over the years, now make me take great pause as I am forever disappointed by their undelivered promises . . . newly developed character traits . . .
Since the weather has all but blown, I decided to take a few and go surfing – a revisit to that word that is used most often in today’s language.
TRY - to attempt to do or accomplish.
ATTEMPT - to make an effort at
EFFORT – 1) The use of physical or mental energy to do something; exertion.
2) A difficult exertion of the strength or will.
3) A usually earnest attempt
What amuses me most about VIEWING it in this manner is that if you trail the definitions, the last one I listed actually lists a great truth (usually) – what may begin as an earnest attempt . . . starts to slide as one begins to realize the mental and physical energies that have to be spent in that effort.
Another truth - not one definition states an actual achieved accomplishment – only an attempt.
So, to the three in my life – please, do not even bother ‘trying’ . . . cuz I already know you will not . . . newly developed character traits and all . . .
Keep digging . . .
'Finding the WIN in the small Print'
It’s amazing what most view as a WIN. My son’s team, try as they might, forever seem to end in a losing final score. However, they have played several amazing games. I have watched as this team has developed in their skills over the weeks and have gone from awkward and unfamiliar to athletic and team-aware. I find agreement with that old adage, ‘it’s not the score that counts but how you play the game. They play their hearts out most of the time.
Today was like that for me . . . but rather than ON the court – it was another day IN court. Acting as Pro Se (the on-going battling of my Ex and the subordination of my previous lawyer have all but rendered me lawyer-free), I was shown favor from the Judge on a critical matter as he made his ruling in my favor – a true blessing, an answer to many long prayers. But this ruling was veiled in additional legal banter, tossed out petitions and stern warnings for potential future issues. What should have been a fairly festive ride home for me turned into more of a somber one. I was trying to make heads and tails of the wrap up discussions, what my future play was to be with these tossed out petitions and how very odd it was to NOT have a pending court date. Pavlov’s response dies hard when the stimulant is suddenly taken away.
The reason I was feeling so heavy was because today was OPPOSITE of what I normally experience. Comparing it to what I am trying to teach my son about his games, for the first time, I left court feeling like even though I got the overall WIN – I didn’t necessarily play the game all that well. I left feeling like that legal world kicked my butt and I am but a very small fish in a very large legal tank. I felt like what normally should have been a BREEZE as the attacks from my Ex are so unwarranted, MERE legal WORDS can break even the best of us. There was a critical point in today’s proceedings where I felt my foot slip and I realized how critical lawyers are to staying a float in the courts – one can have all the proof and truth behind them but if one cannot LEGALLY present this, it can fall through the cracks.
So, after all was said and done, I sat quietly – for a time. The more I thought and prayed on it, the more I began to recognize some things.
I began to look at the attitudes of the judge and the opposing lawyer today. The judge pointed out several things to me - particularly with an area of MY mis-filed petitions (I just don’t have time to go to law school right now). While he said, “I cannot give legal guidance on how to properly file these papers . . . “ he actually repeated the area where I made my mistake (to which I diligently made note). He went on to comment about potential future attacks from my Ex (almost as if to say, “Head’s up – patterns have been as such so PREPARE for this”) perhaps it’s only wishful thinking on my part and this was not really what he was doing, but trust me when I say that I have been in his courtroom long enough to watch his character . . . (he was the one that granted me leave in the last proceeding to FILE one of the petitions – something he spelled out that I had not thought to do).
Additionally, the lawyer seems to have a different attitude, normally very cold and curt with me, he was rather cordial today. As with every appearance, an order must be written up on what transpired. While he recorded that the Judge ordered the petitions to be stricken, he made his last entry a cordial one reminding me of the option to refill those petitions if I so choose to do. Again - trust me, his writing is not normally this nice or informative.
While I pray that this is truly the end of a very long battle – I’ll take the peace while it is here and opt to not re-file my petitions at this time. I choose to END my funk by realizing that I really did have a WIN-WIN with this one. I may have left feeling as if I made a few technical fouls, but I played as well as I could – with all I had. I got the favored ruling, I got a little direction from two unlikely sources and I got overall PEACE . . . for the first time in a long time.
Until next time . . .
Today was like that for me . . . but rather than ON the court – it was another day IN court. Acting as Pro Se (the on-going battling of my Ex and the subordination of my previous lawyer have all but rendered me lawyer-free), I was shown favor from the Judge on a critical matter as he made his ruling in my favor – a true blessing, an answer to many long prayers. But this ruling was veiled in additional legal banter, tossed out petitions and stern warnings for potential future issues. What should have been a fairly festive ride home for me turned into more of a somber one. I was trying to make heads and tails of the wrap up discussions, what my future play was to be with these tossed out petitions and how very odd it was to NOT have a pending court date. Pavlov’s response dies hard when the stimulant is suddenly taken away.
The reason I was feeling so heavy was because today was OPPOSITE of what I normally experience. Comparing it to what I am trying to teach my son about his games, for the first time, I left court feeling like even though I got the overall WIN – I didn’t necessarily play the game all that well. I left feeling like that legal world kicked my butt and I am but a very small fish in a very large legal tank. I felt like what normally should have been a BREEZE as the attacks from my Ex are so unwarranted, MERE legal WORDS can break even the best of us. There was a critical point in today’s proceedings where I felt my foot slip and I realized how critical lawyers are to staying a float in the courts – one can have all the proof and truth behind them but if one cannot LEGALLY present this, it can fall through the cracks.
So, after all was said and done, I sat quietly – for a time. The more I thought and prayed on it, the more I began to recognize some things.
I began to look at the attitudes of the judge and the opposing lawyer today. The judge pointed out several things to me - particularly with an area of MY mis-filed petitions (I just don’t have time to go to law school right now). While he said, “I cannot give legal guidance on how to properly file these papers . . . “ he actually repeated the area where I made my mistake (to which I diligently made note). He went on to comment about potential future attacks from my Ex (almost as if to say, “Head’s up – patterns have been as such so PREPARE for this”) perhaps it’s only wishful thinking on my part and this was not really what he was doing, but trust me when I say that I have been in his courtroom long enough to watch his character . . . (he was the one that granted me leave in the last proceeding to FILE one of the petitions – something he spelled out that I had not thought to do).
Additionally, the lawyer seems to have a different attitude, normally very cold and curt with me, he was rather cordial today. As with every appearance, an order must be written up on what transpired. While he recorded that the Judge ordered the petitions to be stricken, he made his last entry a cordial one reminding me of the option to refill those petitions if I so choose to do. Again - trust me, his writing is not normally this nice or informative.
While I pray that this is truly the end of a very long battle – I’ll take the peace while it is here and opt to not re-file my petitions at this time. I choose to END my funk by realizing that I really did have a WIN-WIN with this one. I may have left feeling as if I made a few technical fouls, but I played as well as I could – with all I had. I got the favored ruling, I got a little direction from two unlikely sources and I got overall PEACE . . . for the first time in a long time.
Until next time . . .
Sunday, February 17, 2008
‘Unlikely Heroes’
We hear so many stories of heroes - men and woman who serve in the armed forces, men and woman who are on the line daily on fire departments, police, hospitals and the civilians who steps up to the plate when called . . . all worthy of our recognition, all worthy of our on-going support. Trust me when I say this because I know a few and they stand above the crowd in most cases.
But there is another group of people, a more ‘unlikely hero’ who, most likely will never receive the recognition many feel should be made when acts of unselfishness are so very clearly expressed. See, that’s how I define ‘heroic’ – a random act of unselfishness.
Recently, I spent the morning with a woman who I most definitely consider a hero . . . would even call her a true ‘Saint’ but a good many have no concept of what that title really means so I will steer clear of that one for now and set it aside for another time. This woman – a friend of mine, has recently taken a leave of absence from employment to live with and tend to her niece who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer – I will spare the details as it is not my story to share – and will only tell you that her care is greatly needed as there is a husband working hard to manage his job so that he can care for his wife and 4 younger children, the youngest who is only 18 months.
As my friend graciously stepped into the role of care-giver to her niece, she took one giant step into that of a part-time mother, chef, house cleaner, family event coordinator and spiritual guide and counselor to the extended family who is also reeling from the reality of this diagnosis. This friend walks humbly – and carries herself in a manner worthy of the call as she presents herself fresh and beautiful to those on the outside of this intimate story. That is to say, one would never know by her outward appearance that she has taken on these additional tasks as she has made sure that it about the task at hand and NOT the heroic efforts on her part.
So, to my friend and to the many who walk in such a manner, while I believe we are all called to be heroes – unlikely heroes, that is, your lead is exemplary and I hope that I can live a life as worthy as you have made yours.
Be a hero today . . .
But there is another group of people, a more ‘unlikely hero’ who, most likely will never receive the recognition many feel should be made when acts of unselfishness are so very clearly expressed. See, that’s how I define ‘heroic’ – a random act of unselfishness.
Recently, I spent the morning with a woman who I most definitely consider a hero . . . would even call her a true ‘Saint’ but a good many have no concept of what that title really means so I will steer clear of that one for now and set it aside for another time. This woman – a friend of mine, has recently taken a leave of absence from employment to live with and tend to her niece who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer – I will spare the details as it is not my story to share – and will only tell you that her care is greatly needed as there is a husband working hard to manage his job so that he can care for his wife and 4 younger children, the youngest who is only 18 months.
As my friend graciously stepped into the role of care-giver to her niece, she took one giant step into that of a part-time mother, chef, house cleaner, family event coordinator and spiritual guide and counselor to the extended family who is also reeling from the reality of this diagnosis. This friend walks humbly – and carries herself in a manner worthy of the call as she presents herself fresh and beautiful to those on the outside of this intimate story. That is to say, one would never know by her outward appearance that she has taken on these additional tasks as she has made sure that it about the task at hand and NOT the heroic efforts on her part.
So, to my friend and to the many who walk in such a manner, while I believe we are all called to be heroes – unlikely heroes, that is, your lead is exemplary and I hope that I can live a life as worthy as you have made yours.
Be a hero today . . .
Saturday, February 16, 2008
‘Stopping the Clock”
At one of my oldest son’s basketball games, my youngest son had asked how long we had until the buzzer went off. I tried to explain that while each period was divided into 7 minutes, those 7 minutes could actually take 20-30 minutes (if not more) to run out as the clock had to be stopped so often for various obstructions.
Today, my kids were all asking me to do things with them when I told them that I needed another 15 minutes to finish something I had started earlier that morning hoping to have had finished before they even woke but had been interrupted. About 30 minutes into it, they said the proverbial, “Mom, you said . . . “ referring to the ‘ONLY 15 MINUTES’ part. I turned table and referenced that 7 minutes in a game thing and said that DUE to the constant interruptions – especially those that were due to actual ‘FOULS’ made on each other that very morning – that my 15 minutes had gotten stretched . . . and very much in the manner of a real game . . . I would indeed be using up all my clock time. They didn’t necessarily like this stance, but they couldn’t very well argue. Oddly enough, the remaining minutes worked out to be close to real time.
This started that dig as I wondered more about all the times we must stop the clock because of our actions.
I believe that everyone has an ordained plan. That these plans are set in motion as we come into this world, and that we often knock ourself off these plans due to the many decisions we make along the way. Until now, while I often think of the clock . . . I never really considered the buzzer – but isn’t that what everything always boils down to in the end . . . TIME REMAINING???
I imagined MY many choices – completely stupid, some of them as I had been quite the hot-head growing up – that must have caused many a clock to stop as God blew a whistle on my many fouls. At times, I feel He must have whistled me right out of the game as I reached my 5-foul limit within the first few minutes of a new endeavor. And just like the players are hopefully taught, tough call or not, one is not supposed to argue the call least he be thrown out for un-sportsmanship. Usually the one penalty is followed by another personal one as the player now has to answer to the coach for getting tossed out.
I began to wonder even further – just how many minutes I have added to my ongoing journey to finding the Promise Land? The desert walk becomes so very long at times.
Not one to cry over spilled milk, I continue to move forward with hopefully greater understanding of how the game is really to be played. I work diligently on understanding the rules and practice often to hone my skills. I think again to the game as I realize that those last few seconds are usually the most exciting as it is not so much what is going on IN the game but rather what will be recorded AFTER that buzzer goes off.
Until next time . . .
Today, my kids were all asking me to do things with them when I told them that I needed another 15 minutes to finish something I had started earlier that morning hoping to have had finished before they even woke but had been interrupted. About 30 minutes into it, they said the proverbial, “Mom, you said . . . “ referring to the ‘ONLY 15 MINUTES’ part. I turned table and referenced that 7 minutes in a game thing and said that DUE to the constant interruptions – especially those that were due to actual ‘FOULS’ made on each other that very morning – that my 15 minutes had gotten stretched . . . and very much in the manner of a real game . . . I would indeed be using up all my clock time. They didn’t necessarily like this stance, but they couldn’t very well argue. Oddly enough, the remaining minutes worked out to be close to real time.
This started that dig as I wondered more about all the times we must stop the clock because of our actions.
I believe that everyone has an ordained plan. That these plans are set in motion as we come into this world, and that we often knock ourself off these plans due to the many decisions we make along the way. Until now, while I often think of the clock . . . I never really considered the buzzer – but isn’t that what everything always boils down to in the end . . . TIME REMAINING???
I imagined MY many choices – completely stupid, some of them as I had been quite the hot-head growing up – that must have caused many a clock to stop as God blew a whistle on my many fouls. At times, I feel He must have whistled me right out of the game as I reached my 5-foul limit within the first few minutes of a new endeavor. And just like the players are hopefully taught, tough call or not, one is not supposed to argue the call least he be thrown out for un-sportsmanship. Usually the one penalty is followed by another personal one as the player now has to answer to the coach for getting tossed out.
I began to wonder even further – just how many minutes I have added to my ongoing journey to finding the Promise Land? The desert walk becomes so very long at times.
Not one to cry over spilled milk, I continue to move forward with hopefully greater understanding of how the game is really to be played. I work diligently on understanding the rules and practice often to hone my skills. I think again to the game as I realize that those last few seconds are usually the most exciting as it is not so much what is going on IN the game but rather what will be recorded AFTER that buzzer goes off.
Until next time . . .
Sunday, February 10, 2008
‘Hanging from a Tree . . . ’
Legal jargon gone awry . . . there’s a reason why lawyers have to go to school for so long, the legal language along makes one’s head spin.
I am growing weary as my re-enlistment into a personal legal battle forever seems to be at the hands of this now foreign enemy. Sad how domestic battles seem to mare the face of a once secured ally, for I do not even recognize this man I was once very intimate with. But, like all things in recent years, I resolve to accept it as a part of my pre-ordained plan as it seems to have primed me for the many things that come my way these days. Perhaps it prepares me more for way down the unforeseen road of my life (“wax on, wax off,” says Mr. Miyagi – a blog in and of itself for another time). But truly, truly I can say each day, ‘I am still blessed’ as I seem to find enlightenment from every rock over-turned. I find that I have these ‘Whoa’ moments that a few select have actually found humor in simply observing the contortion of my face when the ‘lil light bulb goes off . . . well-earned wrinkle makers, that’s what those are. I’m sure I would have earned a whopping ‘10’ with this next one.
Knee-deep in paperwork and a trail of communications, I was trying to deliver a counter response to an on-going recent battle over misunderstood holiday visitations – namely Christmas time – different from the rest as it encompasses a two-week span. Due to the individual school district dismissals, there was – once again a disagreement on the interpretation of the split time: If we based it on the actual observed holidays and the actual days the district dismissed, the split time would not make sense. My stance: since we have to follow the district holiday break, we overlook the actual observed holidays and just celebrate in the even split – that way each parent would get equal time. This was not agreed upon and it was pointed out that we must follow the agreement to the letter of the written word. In my argument, I pointed out that the orders were to be used as a guiding post – to be used only if there was complete disagreement among the parties but even then to be used with interpretation. It was in the best interest of the children for both parties to work amicably together with any arrangements. This was not well received, so I hunkered down a bit more stating that if we tried to follow this agreement to the exact letter of the law, we would ALWAYS get hung up on things like this. That it would, in fact ‘screw us’ as we would always run into times where circumstances would continually change – we needed to focus on the principals of the agreement – the key points of the agreement – in essence the promises of the agreement if we were to . . . . .
“ W H O A . . . . “ (yeah, good thing I was typing an email . . . this was where my face did that funny contorting thing) I went on . . . . we needed to remember the agreements were based on promises or principle ORDERS not the actual words that made up the order because over time, the nuances of our daily routines will change but the REASON for the order will NOT. I shared that I was not trying to destroy the order . . . but merely uphold it as it applied to the current situation . . . I was doing this because I loved my children and I wanted them to have equal time with each parent as they felt they needed.
Unfortunately he does not agree with the interpretation for he does not want to understand . . . I am sorry for him on this account. But I do understand and all the more BECAUSE of this burden, so all is not lost. And it will always be for reasons such as this that I regain strength again and it all becomes worth it.
When you are digging, don’t forget to look under the rocks that seem to hit you in the head . . . because they’re meant to be a direct hit, they are usually quite painful and unfortunately the most overlooked.
‘Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us – for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree” . . . ‘ ~ Galatians 3:13
‘ Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.” ~ Matthew 5:17
I am growing weary as my re-enlistment into a personal legal battle forever seems to be at the hands of this now foreign enemy. Sad how domestic battles seem to mare the face of a once secured ally, for I do not even recognize this man I was once very intimate with. But, like all things in recent years, I resolve to accept it as a part of my pre-ordained plan as it seems to have primed me for the many things that come my way these days. Perhaps it prepares me more for way down the unforeseen road of my life (“wax on, wax off,” says Mr. Miyagi – a blog in and of itself for another time). But truly, truly I can say each day, ‘I am still blessed’ as I seem to find enlightenment from every rock over-turned. I find that I have these ‘Whoa’ moments that a few select have actually found humor in simply observing the contortion of my face when the ‘lil light bulb goes off . . . well-earned wrinkle makers, that’s what those are. I’m sure I would have earned a whopping ‘10’ with this next one.
Knee-deep in paperwork and a trail of communications, I was trying to deliver a counter response to an on-going recent battle over misunderstood holiday visitations – namely Christmas time – different from the rest as it encompasses a two-week span. Due to the individual school district dismissals, there was – once again a disagreement on the interpretation of the split time: If we based it on the actual observed holidays and the actual days the district dismissed, the split time would not make sense. My stance: since we have to follow the district holiday break, we overlook the actual observed holidays and just celebrate in the even split – that way each parent would get equal time. This was not agreed upon and it was pointed out that we must follow the agreement to the letter of the written word. In my argument, I pointed out that the orders were to be used as a guiding post – to be used only if there was complete disagreement among the parties but even then to be used with interpretation. It was in the best interest of the children for both parties to work amicably together with any arrangements. This was not well received, so I hunkered down a bit more stating that if we tried to follow this agreement to the exact letter of the law, we would ALWAYS get hung up on things like this. That it would, in fact ‘screw us’ as we would always run into times where circumstances would continually change – we needed to focus on the principals of the agreement – the key points of the agreement – in essence the promises of the agreement if we were to . . . . .
“ W H O A . . . . “ (yeah, good thing I was typing an email . . . this was where my face did that funny contorting thing) I went on . . . . we needed to remember the agreements were based on promises or principle ORDERS not the actual words that made up the order because over time, the nuances of our daily routines will change but the REASON for the order will NOT. I shared that I was not trying to destroy the order . . . but merely uphold it as it applied to the current situation . . . I was doing this because I loved my children and I wanted them to have equal time with each parent as they felt they needed.
Unfortunately he does not agree with the interpretation for he does not want to understand . . . I am sorry for him on this account. But I do understand and all the more BECAUSE of this burden, so all is not lost. And it will always be for reasons such as this that I regain strength again and it all becomes worth it.
When you are digging, don’t forget to look under the rocks that seem to hit you in the head . . . because they’re meant to be a direct hit, they are usually quite painful and unfortunately the most overlooked.
‘Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us – for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree” . . . ‘ ~ Galatians 3:13
‘ Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.” ~ Matthew 5:17
‘SNOWPLOWEN’
Wow, we’ve really taken quite a hit by the snow this winter . . . it feels as if it’s never going to stop. At least that’s what I imagine to be on the minds of the poor soles that have to plow. The radio station I listen to took a poll the other morning on the longest hours out on service. Some men called in claiming over 72 hours straight with no sleep. At first thought, that was alarming – to think that these guys are putting themselves and others at risk just to clear the roads for us. Then another thought hit me:
While we are all going about our day, do we ever stop long enough to realize the little services that help us get through the day? We run at such a fast pace, many of us paying NO attention – until that is - the services STOP. And boy, you can bet we’re the first to notice then . . . and probably yet, the first to complain.
Just like the company I work for, “Waste Management”, many come in and out of our life to merely CLEAN UP or MANAGE a mess so that we can CONTINUE in a manner we’re accustomed to. We go through our whole life having others CLEAR paths for us – some paths that have been filled by debris not of our own doing and some that have been filled by our own doings. Never once do we stop to take notice let alone ASSIT with the clearing. So again, it made me think, “What can WE DO to make the system work a little better for everyone?”
First, RECOGNIZE that we are but a mere PIECE of a much bigger puzzle and there are MANY who play a part in creating the ability to go about our day. Recognize the importance of the service – period. Without these men and women working all hours, in the freezing cold to clear these roads, we would not make it home let alone to work. Recognize that our need to be on the roads actually makes it HARDER for them to do their jobs and limit your travel time – besides, it’s just safer practices. Have patience as we follow – never too close and don’t try to pass as they have a heavy load to maneuver. If one pulls into the station next to you, buy them a cup of coffee and say thanks.
This recognition should not stop there – to the fireman, the medics, the police, the utility man and women, the garbage/recycle haulers and yes, your postal carriers. Our life is made so much easier by all they do and if I have failed to mention anyone, my apologies to you all. Our hats come off to you . . . have a warm day.
While we are all going about our day, do we ever stop long enough to realize the little services that help us get through the day? We run at such a fast pace, many of us paying NO attention – until that is - the services STOP. And boy, you can bet we’re the first to notice then . . . and probably yet, the first to complain.
Just like the company I work for, “Waste Management”, many come in and out of our life to merely CLEAN UP or MANAGE a mess so that we can CONTINUE in a manner we’re accustomed to. We go through our whole life having others CLEAR paths for us – some paths that have been filled by debris not of our own doing and some that have been filled by our own doings. Never once do we stop to take notice let alone ASSIT with the clearing. So again, it made me think, “What can WE DO to make the system work a little better for everyone?”
First, RECOGNIZE that we are but a mere PIECE of a much bigger puzzle and there are MANY who play a part in creating the ability to go about our day. Recognize the importance of the service – period. Without these men and women working all hours, in the freezing cold to clear these roads, we would not make it home let alone to work. Recognize that our need to be on the roads actually makes it HARDER for them to do their jobs and limit your travel time – besides, it’s just safer practices. Have patience as we follow – never too close and don’t try to pass as they have a heavy load to maneuver. If one pulls into the station next to you, buy them a cup of coffee and say thanks.
This recognition should not stop there – to the fireman, the medics, the police, the utility man and women, the garbage/recycle haulers and yes, your postal carriers. Our life is made so much easier by all they do and if I have failed to mention anyone, my apologies to you all. Our hats come off to you . . . have a warm day.
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